My future in-laws are a little up tight and very strict on how things should be done. I have become quite frustrated by this because they insist on being old-fashioned and traditional about things, yet they won't support us in any way at all. My fiance and I are very adamant about doing things the right way as far as our engagement goes, we are very traditional. My family is having to pay for everything except the rehearsal dinner and it's a little frustrating to me because when my love tried to discuss them helping with the honeymoon they just laughed at him and said that they had never heard of that being done and that they weren't going to help us at all. I have done much research on the traditional wedding and 8 out of 10 sources have said that the groom's family either assists in the financial obligation or pays all of it. My question is, How do we address this information with his parents in a respectful manner in which they can see our side? We all agree to have a traditional wedding, but only my family agrees on traditional costs. How do I resolve this disagreement?
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Jun 16, 2008, 8:07 AM
Post #2 of 3
(381 views)
Re: Discussing money with future in-laws
[In reply to]
If you're going strictly by tradition, the groom's family only pays for all costs associated with the rehearsal dinner, their own attire and their own transportation and travel.
It's the GROOM who traditionally pays for the honeymoon.
If you're going go to great lengths to stick with traditional etiquette, then understand that you're asking them to do something (or pay for something) that does not coincide with the traditional standards. Now, if by other standards you are hoping they will pay for additional expenses, that is between your fiance and his family, and if they say no, it's no. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 16, 2008, 1:19 PM
Post #3 of 3
(371 views)
Re: Discussing money with future in-laws
[In reply to]
I completely agree. And, those 'traditional' rules you mention don't really reflect our lives now or how we host. Those are very old 'rules' and are not mandates. The couple is wholly responsible for all wedding costs. So, your parents are being very generous for paying for your wedding. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Discussing money with future in-laws
