My daughters' mother and I have been divorced for over 17 yrs. When our oldest daughter was married 6 yrs ago my ex did not participate in anything planning, shopping, advice, etc even though I offered to pay for everything just to get her involved in such a special event in my daughters' life. She did not attend the rehearsal but did attend the wedding and reception. She was seated by one of the ushers in the preferred family seating reserved for the MOB's which was in front of myself and my current wife of 16 yrs.
Our youngest daughter is about to get married and again her mother is not participating in anything even though I have again reassured her I'm willing to cover the costs. I worry about my daughter feeling unloved or unimportant to her mom. My wife has been there for both my daughters through the years and all the way through planning both weddings.
I have no intention of allowing my ex to have the honor bestowed upon MOB's and be seated in front of myself and my wife. I have no problem whatsoever with her being at the service and being honored as our daughters mother. She still deserves that but I refuse to dishonor my wife's devotion to my daughters for a second time by having her sit behind my ex.
This is not my wife's idea. She tells me she's content to sit where ever. But it's extremely important to me to honor my wife for always being there and putting herself out even though she didn't have to.
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Actually, parents are no longer financially responsible for their children's wedding. Thus, anything they contribute is a gift. Contributing doesn't give the parents planning or inviting rights. If the couple wishes for one of the parents to help with the planning they ask. But, it really doesn't mean that the mother of the bride is less important if she doesn't help.
Now if you and your wife had raised your daughter, then that would entitle you two to be seated in the first row with your ex in the third.
Having said that, it is clear that you feel very strongly about this and your ex has no problem with sitting some where else. It would be best for all of you to sit in the first row if you get along well. If not and if your daughter agrees, she is the boss here, then your ex can sit in the third row--only because she doesn't have a problem with it. The bottom line though is that your daughter is the boss.
Divorced Parents Wedding Ceremony Seating
