My stepson, who lives 3 hours away, is marrying in 4 months. My husband has no contact with his son's mother who lives in the same town as us. Stepson & fiance have good jobs & have been living in the house they bought a year ago. The wedding guest list includes about 250 people, and they expect about 150-175 to show up. My husband & I are not certain what we should contribute financially to the wedding. Should we discuss the matter with the engaged couple & ask them what they'd like us to contribute? Or should we decide on our own what we feel we are able to contribute? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Also, any links or suggested reading on etiquette for 'divorced parents' role in the wedding would be most helpful.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
May 25, 2004, 9:31 AM
Post #2 of 3
(2722 views)
Re: [quickbrownfox] Father/stepmother of groom contributions
[In reply to]
While we wait for our etiquette expert to answer I have some books on the subject:
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 25, 2004, 9:33 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 25, 2004, 11:16 AM
Post #3 of 3
(2717 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Father/stepmother of groom contributions
[In reply to]
Dear Stepmother of Groom,
These books are a wonderful resource. You may also wish to peruse Bride's Book of Etiquette. There are tables of suggestions that could give you some ideas.
Traditionally, the parent who had more contact (or raised the groom) would contribute more or be involved more in the wedding. However, anyone can offer to contribute anything. It really is your choice.
The happy couple seem to be in control of their lives and wedding at this point, but there are some etiquette suggestions for the groom's parents (we could interpret this as father) though.
It is probably too late, but the groom's parents typically would contact the bride's parents to let them know how happy they are about the upcoming union. They could host an engagement party for the couple after the bride's parents party. With the working, modern couple of today, many times they host their own parties.
Traditionally, the groom's parents would pay for the bride's rings, fees such as, license and clergy fees, personal flowers such as, corsages, boutonnieres and bride's bouquet, usher's gifts, and honeymoon, besides hosting the rehearsal dinner. Today the couple may pay for most of these.
So, it may be best to decide for yourselves what you wish to offer before talking to your stepson. You could offer to pay for the groom's and usher's rental wear, photographer or videographer, any of the reception and/or honeymoon, or something special like a limo to the reception site. Many families are blended these days and wedding costs are often shared.
Father/stepmother of groom contributions
