My fiance and I have just recently gotten engaged and the one thing I can't get off my mind is how I am (or should I) involve his step-mother in the wedding. My fiance's parents got divorced when he was really young and his mother ended up getting really sick right after. His mother wasn't able to care for him so he moved in with his father. Years later my fiance's father re-married his first wife and my fiance had lived with them from about the time he was 9-25 years old. Him and his step-mother have never really gotten along (there have been a few happy moments) and she always had to have something to say to him and they would get into horrible fights where she would try and threaten to kick him out of the house and just abuse him emotionally. I have never seen them argue badly but I've seen enough. She is extremely nice to me and it's hard not to like her when she is being so nice. My fiance won't really get his father involved with their arguing because he said that she at least makes him happy. My question is..how do I involve his stepmother in the wedding, or should I? He's been seeing his biological mother on a weekly basis ever since he was little and I know he's lived with his father and step-mother for quite a while before moving out but I feel that if we don't involve his step-mother in some way- there could be more problems possibly. Help! I don't know what to do!!
This is difficult, as the stepmother basically raised him, so she would be viewed as the "mother". She would be seated in the first row with his father. But, if she was abusive toward him...that mucks up the waters a bit.
None of the mothers really have to be involved much at all, especially since couples are financially responsible and do most of the planning (or should) these days. So, it really is your choice to involved her in any of the planning. She really should be included as one of the mothers on the wedding day, including attire and being seated as special. As long as the stepmother, father, and biological mother get along, they could all sit in the front row. That would make the day much easier.
Fiance's Stepmother involvment
