My father died several years ago, and I've asked one of my uncles to escort me at my wedding. Our evening wedding is in a lovely but formal location. As such, I've asked my uncle to wear a tuxedo in the wedding. Because I knew that this uncle was having some financial problems due to high medical bills, I felt guilty asking him to pay for the tux rental. My solution for this was to write him a note with the tux rental information and include a gift card for an amount covering the tux rental. Of course, I also expressed my gratitude that he was taking part in my special day, etc.
I recently saw the list of guests who have booked rooms in the hotel we suggested for our guests. My uncle and his wife have booked a room at the hotel for the night of the wedding. Is it proper and/or appropriate for us to pay for their lodging? If so, what is the best way to handle this offer? Should I ask my mother - his sister - to mention it, and give the hotel my credit card number for the room? (Because he is within driving distance, I did not think that he would stay at the hotel, or I would have considered this sooner.) Finally, is it proper to give him a gift as well as the bridesmaids and best man? Thanks very much for your insights.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 2
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Re: Gift and lodging for uncle escorting me?
[In reply to]
Dear Lwygrl,
He really isn't considered an attendant, so you are not obligated to pay for his lodging. It is nice to do so since you have asked him to participate--your choice. It is also your choice in how you will do this. You know your family and the dynamics better than I.
You are only obligated to give gifts to your attendants, which should be given privately or during the rehearsal dinner.
Please post questions on a separate thread in the future.
Gift and lodging for uncle escorting me?
