Groom;s parents will be responsible for thier guest's dinners and bride's parents wil pay for their guests
You have so much wonderful advice and I hope you can guide me on the issue I am having. Our daughter has decided to have her wedding in the groom's hometown, quite a distance from us. His mom has suggested a reception location (which we engaged) and has given lots of advice to our daughter when she visits. We are trying to be quite flexable in consideration of the difference in point of view and religion. I have made it clear that we will cover church, flower, photographer and odds and ends (favors, etc) costs. We are also covering the costs of our daughter's bridesmaid's lodging as well as a couple of the dresses due to hardship. Of course, we have our travel costs as well. We are inviting a small number of guests in consideration of the distance and cost of travel as well as to keep this in budget. The groom's family has let us know that they are inviting almost three times as many guests as we are. Not only will this overfill the reception location, it seems a bit, well, greedy. I have written his mom to say they will be responsible for thier guest's dinners and we for ours. I have had no response. The wedding is a few months away, but I don't want to send out invitations until this matter is clear. Do you feel my request is unreasonable? I have tried to get my daughter and her intended to discuss this without success. Is there any nice yet direct way to make my point more clear to his family? Thank you.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 29, 2008, 3:26 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
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Re: Groom;s parents will be responsible for thier guest's dinners and bride's parents wil pay for their guests
[In reply to]
Dear Celtic,
Whose wedding is this? It appears that the principle players don't seem to be playing their part.
You have been very generous about contributing and are under no obligation to pay for guests your daughter and her fiance didn't invite. And, that is the real issue here.
The wedding isn't the social event for parents it once was. The couple is supposed to be hosting their own wedding. This means, they are financially responsible for all costs, they plan, and they invite. Even if parents pay, they don't plan or invite without the couple's blessings. It is very polite to offer some seats to their parents. But, it isn't mandatory.
It may be best to step away and allow your future son in law to discuss this with his parents. You have offered a generous amount thus far, but it is also best that your daughter realizes that the bank is closed. If the couple is grown up enough to marry, they should be grown up enough to deal with this problem. It really isn't yours. It is their wedding and I'm sure your daughter's fiance can find a diplomatic way to remind his parent of this.
Groom;s parents will be responsible for thier guest's dinners and bride's parents wil pay for their guests
