Ok .. I need some advice on how to deal with a groomsman from H*ll.
I was married in July .. This weekend will be 5 months ago. I know that wedding gifts are supposed to be sent within a year, so technically this groomsman has 7 more months. However, I need help on how to handle this situation:
This is my husbands close friend since elementary school. I am not a huge fan of this young fella .. as he is rude, obnoxious, loud, inconsiderate and often acts like my husbands obsessive girlfriend (calling 10-15 times an hour if he doesnt answer his phone, showing up at our house uninvited and not leaving when asked to leave). I have been very kind to him until recently.
On our wedding night, our bridal party had the option of staying at the same hotel that we were staying at, and I had sent out information for the hotel and how to book and all that stuff. The bridesmaids and 2 of the groomsmen took up the option and paid for their rooms. The night of the wedding, this particular groomsman (the one I was just talking about) decided he was going to crash in the bridesmaids room, uninvited. He asked to use the bathroom and they let him in and he passed out on one of their beds. They ended up getting another hotel room, because this guy is just skeevy. Anywho, the next morning, my bridesmaids asked him for 70 dollars to split the cost of the room. He refused. He said he was invited and as an invited guest he shouldnt have to pay. Well low and behold, he still hasnt paid and the other two groomsmen that had their own room that night put up the money for him. This guy screamed at my maid of honor and said very nasty things to her, so since then, I said he wasnt allowed in my house until he apologized to her. That was three months ago. My husband went three months without having him over, but still talked to him. That was fine with me, I just didnt want to see the kid.
On top of all of that, the kid hasnt given us a gift or a card. His mom had given him money and bought a card for him to give to us. He handed us the card at the church and then in the limo after pictures, asked for it back. he took the money out of the card (in front of us) and threw the card out. He said he needed to go get "trees" -- his form of a recreational drug. To this day, he has not given us a card. (It isnt about the gift. He didnt even say congratulations at the wedding) He states every so often that he doesnt have the money for a present for us, but as soon as he does, he will get us one. Since the wedding, he has bought a 50" plasma TV, a new car, PlayStation3 and all the goodies that go along with it.
My husband and I are beginning to argue about this guy, because I dont want him in my house because of the way that he treats me when he is here and the way that he treated my best friend. My husband is convinced it is soley because of the fact that he hasnt given us a gift, but it isnt. I am not that shallow. I have never liked this kid, I was just civil because he is my husbands friend. He has started to come around again, as in, he is ALWAYS at my house now, even though he hasnt apologized to my best friend for the way that he treated her.
I am tired of hearing about all the new things this kid is buying. And I am tired of him being here all the time. I am also tired of arguing with my husband over it.
Sorry for such a long post, but I need advice on how to handle this low life, because I cant take it anymore. Click to view the post, forum, main index.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 29, 2006, 7:36 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Nov 28, 2006, 10:57 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [JulyBride070206] Groomsman From H*LL
[In reply to]
I'm sorry that you've had these issues, but, they aren't really wedding etiquette issues. These are more like personal relationship issues, better suited to be posed to a psychologist or social worker - not wedding planners and etiquette advisors.
Perhaps you can discuss this with a member of your family, the man's family or with clergy.
My personal advice would be to drop this man as your friend and move on, without him. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Groomsman From H*LL
