My wedding is in two weeks and I have run into a problem with my parents and future in-laws regarding the wedding invitations. I have received all of my response cards and I am ready to send in my guest count. When the invitations were sent out, we were very specific on the inner envelope of who was invited. Unfortunately, we received some responses with more than what was invited. Not only did they include more, but they also are children (5 and under down to 7 months). These are from the groom's side of invitations and are "family friends." (People I do not know personally) These children were not included on the "inner envelope." I have approached my mother-in-law to tell them that children are not allowed and she has given me the "guilt trip" (these are out of town guests making a weekend of it, they have to come far and can't leave kids,etc.)so I compromised and gave in (as to not risk hard feelings with my future family and I also felt it wasn't worth the arguement at the time). I also made this decision and stated to my mother-in-law that we didn't really even have this situation on my side and that we did not have to exclude people (children) on our list. I currently talked to my parents after this conversation and realized that there were children excluded from our side of the guest list (especially family). I am in quite the predicament. Now, my parents are upset and do not want to have to pay for more children. Do I call these people and tell them not to bring their kids (people I do not know)? Do I call and invite the excluded kids? Is this tacky? The children on the groom's side are free (for 5 and under), but the additional children on my side would cost us full price and are all over 5 years old. Would it be tacky to have my mother-in-law (who has put forth almost no money for the wedding..which has also caused hard feelings with my parents) put forth the cash for the kids on my side? My fiance and I never wanted children there in the first place. We also do not want the parents/family of the children excluded to be upset when they see children younger than theirs present knowing they are not family.What is the right thing to do? I really appreciate your input soon!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 31, 2004, 10:15 PM
Post #2 of 3
(2154 views)
Re: [chicbride04] Guest List /Children Problem
[In reply to]
Dear Children Problem,
That is a predicament. I would suggest that your fiance talk to his mother and please do not feel pressured by your future mother-in-law to invite those outside your guest list.
This is a common problem that we all face and usually we just allow for the children who are not invited. However, because your family includes so many children who were not invited and not coming, the groom's family should abide by your wishes.
For those who must travel a long distance with their children who are not invited, perhaps some family members could invite the families to stay with them. Just a suggestion.
Re: [chicbride04] Guest List /Children Problem
[In reply to]
If possible, have all out of town guests with children stay in the same location (hotel?) and offer to hire a reliable babysitter. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Guest List /Children Problem
