Recently I found out that I am pregnant. This is completely unexpected and unplanned. My wedding date is October 15, 2005. I am due to have the baby at the end of July, beginning of August. My dreams of having a wedding are completely changed. And the problem is we have already booked most of our vendors. My mom says it is not right for me to have a ceremony since I will have a child. She thinks we should just have the reception the way we planned. This situation breaks my heart. I have always wanted a big wedding. My fiance is the most supportive man I know. He said he will do anything that makes me happy. He still wants to have a ceremony too. What do I do? What is the right thing to do? Does this ever happen to anyone else?
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Jan 16, 2005, 9:33 PM
Post #2 of 5
(1770 views)
Re: [meljohnston] Help! I'm pregnant before my wedding.
[In reply to]
Dear Help,
My heart goes out to you....you're losing the joy of both occasions with this experience. I can't find any etiquette that speaks to the new mother/bride. I would hope that you and your mother can talk this out to the satisfaction of both of you. I can understand her feelings as well as yours but sometimes life dictates and changes our directions. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 16, 2005, 9:42 PM
Post #3 of 5
(1767 views)
Re: [meljohnston] Help! I'm pregnant before my wedding.
[In reply to]
Could you have a private wedding ceremony now and then in October have a vow renewal ceremony with a reception following or even just the reception later without any ceremony?
I'm sure you are feeling disappointed right now but I think once you are holding that precious baby in your arms you might not care much at all about a big party. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 17, 2005, 11:53 AM
Post #4 of 5
(1757 views)
Re: [meljohnston] Help! I'm pregnant before my wedding.
[In reply to]
Dear Help,
A vow renewal would be a great choice. However, there is no etiquette rule about not having a ceremony when you have a child. This is very old fashioned thinking.
If we are to consider that as a truism, then we second brides couldn't have a wedding ceremony if we have children. It is only logical.
Re: [meljohnston] Help! I'm pregnant before my wedding.
[In reply to]
What does your heart tell you? There is no right or wrong etiquette here. You can still have your dream.
If you wish, you can have a simple civil service now and a religious/spiritual ceremony and reception on your scheduled date. Have your officiant include the baby in the wedding service...blessing you as a family. You can be open and joyful.
Marriage is a blessing. A child is a blessing.
The important thing is the happiness and well-being of your family. If you have a profound heart to heart with Mom, she may indeed understand.
Help! I'm pregnant before my wedding.
