I don't feel right attending this wedding -Etiquette please?
My SO's best friend of 10 years, is getting married. During the year and a half since they have been ingaged, we have invited them to dinner, barbeque's, etc, but they always declined, So I've never had to chance to meet her. I've only met him once, when he stopped by to drop off something at the house. The two men have not really seen or spoken much since they got engaged.
I received a shower invitation, but declined, having never met her, or anyone else on either side. Traditionally speaking, shouldn't you atleast have met the bride, and/or friends and family? Since the registry was included with the invitation, Was I obligated to buy her a gift?
After almost a years engagement and planning, my SO finds out he was expected to be best man (there was no indication to this prior) He was alerted to this 4 weeks prior to the wedding.
It's a formal wedding, assigned seats, etc. I would be expected to find my way there alone (I don't drive and it's an hour away) I would be alone for the ceremony, cocktail hour/picture time, and sit alone at the reception at the grand parents table. I feel like somewhat of an afterthought, perhaps obligated to invite me.
My SO wants to back out of best man position, and possibly wedding entirely, due to friction from possibly offending the groom and bride by turning down the best man position.
Should I back out of the invitation, and pressure him to still be the best man, and go without me? He does not want to.
Any advice here is greatly appreciated
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 2
(1774 views)
Re: I don't feel right attending this wedding -Etiquette please?
[In reply to]
Dear Oadina,
You are not obligated to give a shower gift if not attending.
Your significant other should have been asked well before now to be the best man. But, it is his choice to accept and only he can make this decision.
As for you attending alone, this is a wonderful time to meet others and perhaps make new friends. Your significant other will be able to talk to you a bit now and then. So, you will be somewhat close to him. The only problem that remains is how you will get there. That may not be such a huge problem if there is someone going to the wedding who can pick you up. But again, it is your choice to attend or not.
Hopefully you two can come up with a decision that pleases you both and neither feels pressured to do something he/she is not comfortable with.
I don't feel right attending this wedding -Etiquette please?
