Including multiple parents in the wedding planning and ceremony.
My daughter is getting married in June. Like many families today we have divorce situations that are causing alot of issues as far as planning.
I have been married four times. My daughters biological father gave her up for adoption when she was around five years old. My second husband whom adopted her also had another daughter together. This marriage only lasted about a year and a half.
My daughter did not have much of a relationship with her adopted father over the next 12-14 years.
I was remarried and remained in that marriage about ten years. Many of which were not very happy and when my daughter left home to enter college I got a divorce.
I am now married to a wonderful man. He is great to my daughter and I. She was an adult by the time we became husband and wife.
Situation is: she asked her adopted father to walk her down the aisle, although they really don't have nor have they had a true father/daughter relationship. I have suggested to be thoughtful of all of her "fathers" that she try to include them all in some small way without announcing that they are "father".
Her biologicial dad sings very nicely. Her adopted dad is walking her down the isle. Her step dad could video tape the ceremony and reception. I have asked her to try to be creative.
I might also mention that my current husband only ever wished that she be his friend has stepped forth and agreed to pay for her wedding. The other three men all know about the upcoming wedding but have done nothing to offer to help with flowers, limo or anything.
Do you feel that is would be appropriate to have each one be offered a small part in her special day? Do you have any suggestions as to how we can do this tastefully?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 26, 2007, 7:35 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 26, 2007, 8:39 PM
Post #2 of 2
(593 views)
Re: [Marla] Including multiple parents in the wedding planning and ceremony.
[In reply to]
Dear Marla,
Because parents are no longer financially responsible in their children's weddings, they do not plan or invite, even if they do contribute. It is your daughter's wedding and she should be able to choose whomever she wishes to participate without pressure from anyone besides her fiance.
You have mentioned this to her. Now it is her choice to decide if she want to include them.
Please do not put pressure on her about this. She has a lot to consider.
Including multiple parents in the wedding planning and ceremony.
