Invite some to the Dance, but not the wedding or reception?
My fiance and I have very large families. We're trying to keep the guest list at a reasonable number - we're at 215 with just immediate family, aunts/uncles and close friends. My fiance insists that he be able to invite his co-workers and cousins to only the dance (with an informal invitation stating "no gifts please." I am very uncomfortable about this.
What is the "right" thing to do?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Nov 9, 2004, 12:05 PM
Post #2 of 6
(1785 views)
Re: [amatzek] Invite some to the Dance, but not the wedding or reception?
[In reply to]
What do you mean by "the dance"? Are you referring to the reception that follows the ceremony? Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
amatzek
Nov 9, 2004, 1:05 PM
Post #3 of 6
(1779 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Invite some to the Dance, but not the wedding or reception?
[In reply to]
He wants to invite people to only the dance portion of the reception - not to the dinner. So, the informal invitation would be inviting them to the dance starting at 8pm - not to the church or the dinner.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 9, 2004, 1:51 PM
Post #4 of 6
(1775 views)
Re: [amatzek] Invite some to the Dance, but not the wedding or reception?
[In reply to]
Dear Invite some,
There is no polite way to do this. Just imagine that you are invited to a party. Once you arrive, you find out that some of the people had just finished a private dinner with the hosts. You find out that you are only 'good enough' to participate in the dance.
If your budget cannot accommodate your entire guest list, perhaps you and your groom should consider paring it down considerably or changing your reception plans. If you are inviting guests to your reception, they should be invited to the entire gathering.
Also by mentioning 'no gifts' on your invitation you are placing emphasis on gifts, which is not where the emphasis should be placed. This is a special moment you wish to share with friends and family. So, please do not mention gifts on your wedding invitation, even if the invitation is informal.
Re: [amatzek] Invite some to the Dance, but not the wedding or reception?
[In reply to]
Dear Amatzek,
There are some social circles where this is acceptable, but for the vast majority of guests to be invited only to the dance is a bit of a slight.
Good luck, Jodi R R Smith
sparkle_smarts
Dec 14, 2004, 9:40 AM
Post #6 of 6
(1656 views)
Re: [amatzek] Invite some to the Dance, but not the wedding or reception?
[In reply to]
Eh..I'm sorry to say, but there is no good way to tell someone that you cannot invite them to one specific part. Questions will arise as to why not and you will be left with some very hurt feelings. I agree that you should consider the possibility that you shouldn't have a dance if all your guests can't go.
Invite some to the Dance, but not the wedding or reception?
