My husband and I have just been invited to a friend's son's wedding reception which will take place next week. We have been invited specifically to take care of "Uncle Fred" who always gets drunk and misbehaves at social events. The family member who was assigned to "Uncle Fred" cannot attend. We have not received a formal invitation, barely know the groom and do not know the bride. We are happy to perform this service so our friends do not have to worry that the reception will not go smoothly, but do we consider ourselves as guests (providing a gift, etc.) or as caretakers?
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Post #2 of 9
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Re: Invited to care for difficult guest
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Dear Austinmother,
Wow! This is a first. I suppose you would be considered part of the vendors--no gift, but should be fed.
Hopefully the evening will go smoothly. And, hopefully the couple is aware of your attendance. This could be very awkward since they should be doing all of the inviting.
Re: Invited to care for difficult guest
[In reply to]
I agree, this is a strange situation. The groom called us to thank us for taking this on, so he and the bride are aware that we will be there.
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Post #4 of 9
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Re: Invited to care for difficult guest
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Hmmm...This is a grown man? How will you keep him under control? If you don't know this man, I just don't see what you could do to stop him from drinking too much or from making any scenes if he does. Better check with the couple about their expectations for the two of you. Maybe find out a little more about the man too so you;re prepared. I don't envy you this position. God bless you for taking this on for them. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
austinmother
Post #5 of 9
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Re: Invited to care for difficult guest
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Thank you both for your helpful advice. We have learned more. The man in question is a beloved great uncle who is suffering from the early stages of senile dementia. They wanted to include him and his wife because they helped to raise the groom, but he gets frantic in unfamiliar situations. His wife would not attend without him, so that is why they need help. I'm sure other families must have this problem too?
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Post #6 of 9
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Re: Invited to care for difficult guest
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Well, that is a shame. But, I would think this is a job for someone trained to deal with dementia patients though. Do a little homework to make sure you know what to expect and how to handle it.
Good luck and God Bless you for caring. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
austinmother
Post #7 of 9
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Re: Invited to care for difficult guest
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Since you were both so caring in your response, I thought I would let you know what happened at the wedding. "Uncle Fred" and his wife were delightful as was everyone else at the wedding. He is a botanist (retired) so when the wedding got to be too much for him, we took him for a walk in the adjacent garden. We learned a great deal about plants (something from the past he can remember), and his wife and family enjoyed the event. So, it all turned out well.
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Post #8 of 9
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Re: Invited to care for difficult guest
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Thank you so much for taking the time to let us now how this turned out. it sounds like you had a nice time entertaining Uncle Fred, and he, in turn, entertained you. What a nice story.
God bless you for being so caring. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
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Post #9 of 9
(851 views)
Re: Invited to care for difficult guest
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Thank you so much for sharing!
I love sharing those moments with people such as your "Uncle Fred". I'm so glad you were chosen for that privilege. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Invited to care for difficult guest
