My fiances mother is a severe alcoholic but refuses to get help. This is causing a huge issue with our reception because, due to the fact that much of his family are alcoholics, we have chosen to have only beer and wine at the reception. The problem with this is that his mother only drinks beer. I don't feel that it is my place to talk to his mother about her drinking at the reception. She and I are may be extremely close but she is not my mother, and she is a grown woman. My fiance is conflicted because every time someone brings up her drinking problem she just drinks even more. When we got engaged all she could talk about was the huge party we would have. She didn't care what type of ceremony we had as long as there was a party. The last thing I want on our wedding day is to see my husband angry and embarrassed by his mothers behavior. But I also don't want to see her angry that someone asked her to behave and not drink at the reception.
You may want to consider a dry reception, serving no alcohol at all. Planning the wedding for a Sunday morning could help too. However, if his mother is a true alcoholic, she'll find ways to drink even if not provided to her at the venue. Your problem really extends past the boundaries of etiquette. I would suggest seeking professional family counseling. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I agree. First, serving only wine and beer to alcoholics doesn't mean they will drink less - it means that they will drink more wine and beer. A dry reception would be the only way to (almost) effectively prevent the kind of behavior from your fiance's family that you mentioned.
On your future mother-in-law, the best thing you can do is consult a counseling professional yourself and ask what the best way to handle the situation without hurting her or damaging your relationship with your new family is. The problem is deep enough that a professional's guidance would be best. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
I completely agree. And, if you plan a dry reception (this is a very good idea), plan it as our moderator suggests, during a time most guests do not expect alcohol. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
MOG Alcoholic
