Need Advice/Opinions about Bachlorette & Invitations
My brother is getting married in November and I volunteered to plan his fiancée's Bachlorette party as she felt none of her other bridesmaids would be interested in such a thing. I planned a trip to Las Vegas and, at HER request, invited a close friend of mine whose company she greatly enjoys. The friend that I invited (again, at my brother's fiancée's request) is low on money but agreed to go as her presence was specifically requested by the bride-to-be. Herein lies my dilemma: It has recently come to light that my future sister-in-law is not planning to invite my friend to the wedding. I think that's terrible etiquette considering that my friend is apparently good enough to spend her own money at the Bachlorette party to celebrate the impending wedding but not good enough to be invited to the actual event. As you can imagine this puts me in an uncomfortable situation as my friend is asking what to wear to the wedding, where they're registered etc... This has also caused my and my future sister-in-law's relationship to become strained at best. I have a serious boyfriend who is attending the wedding as my guest (this will be a rare opportunity to meet my entire family, all of whom live out-of-state) so taking my friend as my personal guest is not an option. I understand that they want to limit the guest list to 100 people but I truly feel as though one more person (she would not be bringing a date) is not a big deal. Her being invited should be based purely on principle. My friend has already paid for her plane ticket and it is non-refundable. She also knows nothing of this as I feel sure it would hurt her feelings greatly. The only "solution" the bride-to-be has suggested is to tell one of my brother's best friends (also from out of town) that he cannot bring his date therefore freeing up a "space". I don't feel as though that is right either. Am I wrong to feel as though my friend should be invited? How can I broach this (again) with the bride-to-be? Her typical reaction has been very defensive and dismissive.
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Sep 6, 2004, 6:24 AM
Post #2 of 4
(2771 views)
Re: [Sam1971] Need Advice/Opinions about Bachlorette & Invitations
[In reply to]
There is no easy way to handle this situation. The bride obviously has been inconsiderate in her invitation of the bachelorette party guests. An opportunity to rectify this situation may occur during the bachelorette party and if not, I would simply present the bride with the insensitivity of the situation. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
purple
Deleted
Sep 7, 2004, 1:51 PM
Post #3 of 4
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Re: [Sam1971] Need Advice/Opinions about Bachlorette & Invitations
[In reply to]
Normally I think the etiquette fall upon the hostess, but in this situation, the bride has superceded that. She should not have asked you to invite your friend if she's not invited to the wedding, but now it's too late. I would just be frank with the bride and let her decide how to rectify it. If your friend asks you, I don't see any reason to cover up. You can reiterate that you invited her specifically at the bride's requests, and at the time you were not aware of the bride's guest list for the wedding.
mannersmith
Manners & Etiquette Expert
Sep 14, 2004, 8:48 AM
Post #4 of 4
(2725 views)
Re: [Sam1971] Need Advice/Opinions about Bachlorette & Invitations
[In reply to]
Dear Sam,
This situation is a comedy of errors. Who is right and who is wrong at this point is irrelevant. Since the bride included this woman as someone close enough to be invited to the party, the woman's name must be added to the wedding guest list. Since there is generally attrition of at least 10%, there is a good chance there will be plenty of room for her at the wedding. I do hope that you are able to speak with the bride and cajole her into adding one more person. Even if all of the guests rsvp that they will attend (which would be highly unlikely) adding one more person to a 100 person event is really not that big of a deal. After all, the only other option would be for you to uninvite this woman to the bachelorette party and have the bride pay for the purchased plane ticket.
Need Advice/Opinions about Bachlorette & Invitations
