Not specifically invited, but not uninvited either.
I've been with my fiancee for 10 years and have gotten very close with his siblings and his parents. My fiancee and I have decided to have a very small ceremony in the park of a small town where he proposed to me with a follow up reception a couple of months later at a location that is more convenient for the majority of our family and friends. We have a lot of history together in this small town and feel like the hotel accommodations and restaurant are perfect for the romantic tone we want to have for our special day but it can hold only a limited number of people (15 people max) and is very expensive. (thus the very small ceremony)
I have a wedding web site and am listing the events and indicating some generic information about the ceremony location "lower park in Jerome" and specific details about the reception date/location, etc. with the wording "We invite all of our friends and family to join in our reception celebration in March." so that it's clear that we will be married prior to the reception date and are not inviting the whole guest list to the ceremony.
Here is my dilemma, I know that some of his family may 'want' to attend the ceremony and we do not want them to feel as if they are not welcome to come. They are all financially stable and my thought is if they choose to come and join us on the special day, it would be great.
Do you think it's in poor taste if we allow people to join us if we are not formally 'inviting' them to the ceremony? We would then tell them where we are having dinner afterwards but indicate that 'reservations are required' to avoid them thinking we have invited them to dinner (which we cannot afford).
Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 24, 2007, 3:35 PM
Post #2 of 4
(801 views)
Re: [Yecats44] Not specifically invited, but not uninvited either.
[In reply to]
Dear Yecats,
If they ask if they can come and you don't mind, you could phrase it that they may if they wish. You would have to be very careful not to sound as if you are inviting them.
You could inform them when they ask that you couldn't formally invite guests due to space restrictions and budget. Most people understand this.
And, please remember for the reception, you would be expected to pay for all costs.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Not specifically invited, but not uninvited either.
[In reply to]
Rebecca,
Thank for the advice. I will be extra careful not to make it sound like we are inviting them.
I agree wth you on the reception. We will be hosting the event ourseleves and are planning a formal sit down dinner for our families and friends to get to know one another. Luckily most live in the same general city area so that travel, lodging and the other costs often associated with an event will be minimzed so we can really just focus on having a great celebration. :)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 25, 2007, 10:45 AM
Post #4 of 4
(775 views)
Re: [Yecats44] Not specifically invited, but not uninvited either.
[In reply to]
Great. And, please note that I didn't mean that you or any other bride is responsible for travel or lodging costs of their guests. I may not have been clear on that.
Not specifically invited, but not uninvited either.
