I have a great friend that I can't imagine not having at my wedding, but his 3 year old daughter is a terror!! I'm not having a no-child wedding, but I don't know what to do about this little girl. She runs around and yells and does anything she wants, no matter where she is, and if anyone tries to stop her, she screams blue murder for a half hour. I'm having nightmares about having to stop in the middle of the biggest, best moment of my life because this girl decides to start screaming. It seems horrible to exclude only this one child, but I don't know what else to do. I have children of my own, so I won't even consider a child-free ceremony. It would be ridiculous to exclude my children, my nieces, and all the other children of our friends just because one person refuses to parent his child. On the one hand, I'm pretty hard-hearted about this, considering that it's our day, and hardly our fault that he thinks it's funny when she misbehaves. On the other hand, I care deeply about him, and I don't want to refrain from inviting him or offend him by asking him to leave her at home. By the way, although there will be other children there, she would be the only one under 10. I don't know if that makes any difference.
(This post was
edited by amiemccoy on Nov 29, 2006, 1:46 AM)
I would be afraid too. It is scary when a child rules the parent.
Some etiquette specialist say that it is fine to exclude children under a certain age. I don't entirely agree, even though I truly believe that we should be able to invite anyone we wish. The reason is that parents become upset, especially in these days of non-parenting, when their child is excluded and others are not. Many parents honestly believe that their children should be invited to everything because they are so special. This is a problem.
So, perhaps you could hire a baby sitter for those under the age of 10. Any of the children could attend, but it would basically be for her. Other than that, I think your only choices would be to not invite him, to only invite children over the age of 10 (I'm not comfortable with this choice), or to be honest with him about his daughter's behavior (might lose a friend).
Good luck with this one. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
One rotten kid
