Is it socially acceptable to invite people to the wedding, but NOT the reception. We've been members of our church for over 48 years, so everyone knows us. We want everyone to be at the wedding, but cannot possibly afford to invite everyone to the reception. Is this acceptable? If so, how do we word the invitation, or response card?
Carol
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 14, 2004, 11:34 AM
Post #2 of 4
(1285 views)
Re: [carolshoppell] Open wedding / Limited reception?
[In reply to]
Dear Limited Reception,
Typically no. It is not in good taste to invite guests to a wedding and not the reception. However, this type of wedding is very common with a short cake and punch reception at the church directly after the ceremony for maybe an hour or so.
Then you may have a small intimate reception at a different location, for family and a few friends. This is usually done for the open church wedding for exactly the reasons you mentioned. You would definitely want your private reception at a different location so your church guests do not think they are not good enough for your second reception.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Open wedding / Limited reception?
[In reply to]
May I followup on this question with an additional question of my own?
Would it be acceptable to verbally invite people to your ceremony but not to the reception? I would love for all my friends to attend my ceremony, but due to the size of the hall (and the size of my wallet), only close family members are attending the sit-down reception.
How does one HAVE an open ceremony, without an open reception, anyway?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 14, 2005, 10:38 AM
Post #4 of 4
(1170 views)
Re: [carolshoppell] Open wedding / Limited reception?
[In reply to]
The open ceremony and reception is what I was describing above. It is usually the open church wedding, where the entire congregation is invited and then they all retire to another room for cake and a beverage. Many times the family and a few close friends will have a gathering later at another location.
The point here is not to let the guests feel as if they are not good enough to entertain at the second reception.
Verbally inviting guests to an informal wedding is fine. However, as I have said. It is not polite to invite guests to a wedding and not the reception. So, you really should have something for your guests who are not invited to your reception at your hall.
If, as you say, the number of guests invited to your dinner is very small, then you probably wouldn't have a problem with the wedding guests who are not invited finding out about the dinner.
Bottom line: it isn't very polite. But, handled properly, you can appease everyone. Frankly, if it were me. I would only invite those to the wedding that I could afford to entertain at my reception. This is your choice. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Open wedding / Limited reception?
