My family and I have been invited to my youngest brother's wedding in South Africa this February.
Currently my youngest brother lives in Australia with his bride to be. I have only seen him once in the past 5 years as it is so far away. The wealthy bride's family lives in England and has paid for my youngest brother's airfare and wedding costs in South Africa. My parents, grandmother, aunt, cousins and my other brother live in South Africa, but it is still a day's drive for them to make it to the wedding as well.
I currently live in North Carolina, USA with my wife and children. The wedding is scheduled right in the middle of the school year and it would be a financial hardship on us. I really don't know why my brother did not think of all the consequences of scheduling his wedding the way he did but...it is his wedding!
I would like to attend the wedding with my family, however my children cannot afford to miss school and my wife would need to stay behind to care for the family.
I do not want to attend without my wife and could not ask her family or neighbors to look after our children for a week as we are not close to her family and we do not feel close enough to the neighbors to dump our kids on for a couple of weeks. I also do not want to charge the trip on my credit card for just a few days...especially after Christmas!
I am receiving an enormous amount of pressure (and manipulation) from my parents. I would like to attend but for obvious financial reasons and I do not want to attend without my wife. Consequently, I am leaning toward declining the invitation, but it is going to cause a tremendous stink in our family. It seems unfair that I am "expected" to be there...half way around the world. My youngest brother was 12yrs old at my wedding...
I am hoping that somebody may have some suggestions or thoughts on the matter.
An invitation shouldn't be an ultimatum, especially when there are costs involved. You shouldn't have to explain yourself in great detail either. It unfortunate that your family is pressuring you, but this could mean that they miss you--all good. Just gently remind them that this is financially impossible for you, besides untimely.
The fact that the bride's family is wealthy is not part of the equation.
Guests are invited, not coerced to attend weddings. The impact on you and your family would be significant and you have a right not to attend. Family pressure or not, you need to make the best decision financially and emotionally. If you can't discuss the issue with your parets objectively, let them know that their enthusiasm is appreciated, but that you simply will not be able to be there. Hopefully with time, they will understand that you made a mature and responsible decision. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
DMARC
Jan 3, 2008, 8:22 PM
Post #4 of 4
(305 views)
Re: [Weddings by Shayna] Overseas Family Wedding
[In reply to]
Thank you both very much for your replies. It is going to be a tough invitation to decline, but I think it's the best decision after considering my circumstances.
Overseas Family Wedding
