I'm getting married in April of '05, and am stuck in the middle of a really horrible nightmare. There is terrible friction between my fiancee and my sister, who was asked to be a bridesmaid about 10 months ago when we became engaged. At the time, their relationship was fairly good, and my fiancee asked her to be in the wedding since she is my only sibling. However, since then, there have been several incidents between the two of them where miscommunications occurred, and both have made some mean comments to each other. At this point, my fiancee wants to remove my sister from her bridesmaid role, because she can't take anymore of the problems. My sister has emotional problems, and tends to blow up and say not-the-nicest things to people.
Is it a mistake to relieve my sister of her bridesmaid role? We're all getting together in a couple of days to sit down and try to work out some of these issues, but we're pretty much decided on pulling her out. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my sister, but my fiancee says she can't continue on this emotional rollercoaster with my sister.
Thanks. Kevin.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Oct 19, 2004, 12:50 PM
Post #2 of 3
(1342 views)
Re: [kevn1115] Removing Bridesmaid, Who is Groom's Sister
[In reply to]
Dear Kevin,
Yikes! I can feel the tension from here.
You state that you are all getting together to 'talk' about this. Great plan. You are all family and will have to be together in the future, so it is best to try to keep these relationships healthy. If you are having a religious service, you may be able to ask your minister (etc.) to act as mediator. If at the end of your 'talk' and any other mediation your sister and your bride are still having problems, it is best to ask her to step aside. This is the least appealing solution, but if your sister and bride are unhappy with each other now, this will not be a happy ceremony.
I'm sorry this has to be so difficult for all of you. Best wishes for a happy ceremony.
Jill
Psychotherapist: Second Weddings & Stepfamilies
Oct 20, 2004, 4:34 AM
Post #3 of 3
(1329 views)
Re: [kevn1115] Removing Bridesmaid, Who is Groom's Sister
[In reply to]
I am so sorry to read about this situation - especially as your sister is your only sib. You sound sympathetic to your sisters emotional problems, but at the same time it must be so hard to see your bride-to-be upset by comments.
Good idea to have a talk, the 'grown-up' thing to do, but try to go into it without your mind made up - your sister may surprise you once whe understands that she has to toe the line. Jill Curtis Psychotherapist, Author How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) London, UK http://www.familyonwards.com
Removing Bridesmaid, Who is Groom's Sister
