I was recently told by my daughter that her father (who left when she was two years old) is walking her down the aisle. She said the minister told her he HAS to sit in the first row on the end. Which means his wife will be next to him and I will be next in the row.
I know this all sounds petty but I am hurt. Her stepfather and I have raised her. We are helping her pay for the wedding, (her father won't even though he is well off). Her stepmother stopped all overnight visits when they married and has always insisted she come before the children.
I am trying to bite my tongue so my daughters feelings aren't hurt and I don't want to ruin her special day. But I am very hurt by this and am not looking forward to the ceremony. What if anything should I do?
You will probably receive different advice from others telling you to bite your tongue because it is just one day. But, that is not what I am going to say. Just my opinion here, but I believe in honesty. You are hurt and will always feel that feeling of betrayal. She will feel your pain.
Now on to the advice the minister gave your daughter. Bad advice. It is actually her decision if she wants and who she will have walk her down the aisle. She could have the woman on the street to whom she just gave a quarter walk her down the aisle. It is her choice.
As for where he sits... Bad advice. The parent (s) who raised her sits in the front row. Plus, you two are the hosts, so of course you would be in the front row. He with his wife sits in the third row, well away from you. All of this is written in many etiquette books if the minister wants to double check.
Please (my advice again) talk to your daughter to tell her about your feelings. This is an important day, one I am sure you don't want to mar. So, she will feel your hurt feelings and won't know what to do. Both of you will feel better once the air is clear.
Seating at ceremony
