Should Dad help with wedding expenses for pregnant bride?
My daughter is engaged and planning a wedding. She's also pregnant. She and her fiance want to wait to get married after the baby is born instead of before. Her father had set aside money that he meant to use for our daughter's wedding, but since she won't be married before the baby's birth he refuses to help with any wedding expenses. His reason is that her decision lacks "decorum". I think he's being unfair as a parent and shirking his responsibility to at least help with wedding finances. She doesn't want a big wedding, but she at least deserves some assistance for such an important event in her life. What do you think?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 3, 2008, 10:11 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jun 3, 2008, 10:11 AM
Post #2 of 3
(353 views)
Re: Should Dad help with wedding expenses?
[In reply to]
Parents are not responsible for paying for their "children's" weddings. In fact, once they are 18 and no longer living in your home, you're not responsible for them legally. Now, moral obligation is another discussion. Your husband obviously feels strongly about his daughter being married before the birth of her baby. (Just for the record, and since you asked what we thought, I happen to agree with him). Your daughter and her boyfriend made a decision - a couple of decisions actually - both for which they need to be responsible. If they want to wait until after their baby is born to be married, and her father isn't in agreement, they will either have to pay for the wedding themselves or comply with what dad wants.
This entitlement seems to be a huge issue with this generation. Does she really "deserve" financial assistance to have a wedding, especially under these circumstances? If this were my daughter, I would support her emotionally but ask her to be responsible for the issues she creates. I do this now with my own adult children - I ask them to reap the repercussions of their actions, positive or negative.
You and your husband really need to have a discussion about your views on parenting and come to an agreement. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 3, 2008, 10:41 AM
Post #3 of 3
(350 views)
Re: Should Dad help with wedding expenses for pregnant bride?
[In reply to]
I agree. Even if she wasn't pregnant, the only people responsible for their wedding costs are the two of them. Today, couples tend to live together and make their own decisions. They are grown-ups. So, it is only fair and logical for them to pay their own way.
Contributing is optional. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Should Dad help with wedding expenses for pregnant bride?
