My father has not been a major part of my life in terms of supporting us and bringing us up since I was 10 years old. Though we are on talking terms, we don't even meet on a regular basis. About 1 year ago, he remarried and had another daughter. His wife, however, has been very mean not only to him but to us as well. She prank calls us, sends us horrible text messages, and throws a fit on my father everytime she is unhappy (which happens to be very often).
I do not want her at my wedding ceremony, neither do I want her at my wedding dinner. In the Chinese customs, there is the tea ceremonies where we serve tea in respect to all the elders in our family, relatives inclusive, in the bride and groom's parents' houses respectively.
Do I have to serve her tea? Or more so, allow her into my parent's (mom's) house for the tea ceremony? In fact, I do not even wish to invite her to the tea ceremony.
My parents are not on talking terms.
How can I tell my father that I do not want her to be involved in any part of my wedding whatsoever without him getting angry at me for disrespecting her?
-sjune
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 18, 2008, 10:28 AM
Post #2 of 2
(309 views)
Re: Should I invite my father's wife?
[In reply to]
Dear Sjune,
The easy answer is that spouses are invited to all wedding events, especially the spouse of your parent. However, there are exceptions, abusive behavior is one of them. From what you have said, she could be abusive to you or any of your other family members. So, as a good host you wouldn't want this to happen.
Of course this isn't going to be easy for you or fair for your father. So, it may be best to speak with him privately about her behavior and your reasons for excluding her being as detailed as possible. She is a grown up and hopefully one day will see that there is a consequence for her actions.
Should I invite my father's wife?
