I have been unable to find any advice as to what my stepmother of 10 years role in my wedding should or shouldn't be. I am the groom and my parents have been divorced for 15 years. I don't want to offend either my father or stepmother. Questions such as is my father expected to walk my biological mother down the aisle, should my stepmother walk down the aisle also, should my stepmother be announced at the reception, should we provide flowers for my stepmother, what is proper etiquette for seating at the reception, placement in the receiving line and for photographs by the photographer for my father and stepmother. If there is anything I have missed, what would be a proper role for my stepmother at both the ceremony and the reception? My fiances parents are looking to do everything that is proper etiquette so any advice would be appreciated.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 12, 2008, 1:59 PM
Post #2 of 2
(601 views)
Re: Stepmother's Role in the Wedding
[In reply to]
Dear SPJS,
If you want her treated as one of the mothers, which is polite behavior (unless there is friction in the family), She would be walked down the aisle first by a groomsman with your father following. They would sit in the third row unless your mother is fine with them sitting in the first row. She would be given a flower.
Typically she isn't in the receiving line and it is optional for the fathers to be included in the line as well. Sometimes their 'job' is to mingle. If you want her in the line, she may be included. They could be near the end to give space to your mother. But, again, this isn't written in stone. You can place them next to your mother. It is her comfort that is most important.
Your photographer should be able to place your father and his wife in the correct place. If not, it really is your choice these days.
She isn't usually mentioned at the reception unless she has been a mother to you. Your father is introduced.
They could be seated with all of the parents at a parent's table. But, many times we separate divorced parents and seat them with those with whom they are close.
A groomsman would seat your mother, not your father.
It is also proper, although not fair in most cases, to treat her as a special guest. She wouldn't be seated as special, no flowers, but seated with her husband in all cases.
Stepmother's Role in the Wedding
