My fiance and I debated whether or not to invite one of our single male friends to our destination wedding. In the end we invited him. We are now having serious regrets and know it is in improper to "uninvite" him but I am at the end of my rope with his behavior and feel like he has the potential to ruin the event. We have only 15 guests, almost all family. So he cannot get lost in the crowd. His recent behavior has been drunken and immature, including pouting in a corner at a dinner party with his jacket over his face, announcing to my family at our engagement dinner that he really did not like the food, and then not talking to us for 8 weeks since these two events. More than these two events, he has had an attitude problem at work and continues to ignore my fiance's authority in group situations. They are in the military and this is causing problems between them at work.
After multiple unanswered emails asking him about his travel plans and if he wanted to be a part of the reserved block of hotel rooms or group tours, I offered him the option to withdraw his RSVP. He responded within a few minutes that he hoped that wasn't a hint and he fully intended on coming.
I am trying not to be long winded, but I really was trying to give him a hint and I am holding my tongue to not tell him that. I would like to uninvite him before he makes travel plans, as that is the only fair thing to do and we know he has not made them.
Can you give me any advice on how to uninvite him? I would like to simply tell him. How wrong am I? My parents also want him uninvited and have expressed concern over a drunk scene.
Thank you.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 25, 2007, 6:00 PM
Post #2 of 2
(741 views)
Re: [purduemaggie] Uninviting a Guest
[In reply to]
Dear Purduemaggie,
Under the circumstances, it may be best to ask him to stay home. This is something your fiance should do. It may be best to speak to him calmly and directly pointing out his last outburst and the fact that as hosts you must consider the comfort of all of the guests. And, to insult the host of your engagement party was enough of a reason to ask him to stay home.
Uninviting a Guest
