Okay, my sister's soon to be mother-in-law wants her to use the same unity candle she and her husband used. Please help explain how tacky this is!!! We have tried to explain it but she will not listen..PLEASE HELP.
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edited by TWQadmin on Aug 8, 2007, 3:53 PM)
TWQadmin
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Aug 8, 2007, 3:53 PM
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Re: [rlw19728] Using parents unity candle
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I don't think it's tacky at all. It's very sweet actually. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
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rlw19728
Aug 8, 2007, 4:01 PM
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Re: [TWQadmin] Using parents unity candle
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But isn't the unity candle meant to symbolize the unity of THE couple in the wedding? To me it's like using the in laws room as the honeymoon suite...there has to be a line somewhere. Some things are too personal to share..maybe I am being a little overboard, but you honestly think that recycling a 40 year old unity candle that is pretty much not even in the original shape and already burned is sweet? It's bad enough she is getting bag pipers at the wedding...lol..but do we have to give into the used unity candle too?
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Aug 8, 2007, 4:09 PM
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Re: [rlw19728] Using parents unity candle
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We're not talking about using a personal item, geeze. How can you possibly compare an intimate physical experience like a honeymoon and compare that to the unity candle ceremony? A unity candle symbolizes family. The bride and groom will be creating their new family while still being a part of their parents' families. The ceremony, and the candle, wil tie the whole thing together. I think it is a wonderful sentiment.
Put away the magnifying glass... Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
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Aug 8, 2007, 4:20 PM
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Re: [rlw19728] Using parents unity candle
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I agree. I can't think of anything that is wrong with this. It is all about joining families, isn't it?
I think you are confusing a wedding ring with the unity candle. The wedding ring unites the couple. Plus, what's wrong with bag pipes??? I love bag pipes. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
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edited by Et.byRebecca on Aug 8, 2007, 4:22 PM)
rlw19728
Aug 8, 2007, 4:39 PM
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Re: [Et.byRebecca] Using parents unity candle
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bagpipes make my sister think about a fireman's funeral we attended...not a good thought on your wedding day.
Thanks for your help, but my sister has given into every other request and this is her day and she is choosing to draw the line at the "sweet" offering of the used unity candle.
She was just hoping for an acceptable way of declining it.
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Aug 8, 2007, 4:54 PM
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Re: [rlw19728] Using parents unity candle
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I am the widow of a firefighter so I am right there with you on the bagpipes although many people find the music soothing and romantic.
But, you didn't ask how to decline. You asked us if we thought it was tacky.
If your sister does not want to use the unity candle (and again, I think she should pick her battles and try to see this for what it is) she should have her fiance speak with his parents and politely and sensitively let them know that you have other plans.
Remember that this is a day for families, not just the bride and groom. I assume that the bride feels her fiance is a wonderful man. Well, he didn't just appear on the Earth one day like that - he had a bit of help from his parents. Make sure your sister respects that relationship and allows them in a bit. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
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rlw19728
Aug 8, 2007, 5:00 PM
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Re: [TWQadmin] Using parents unity candle
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I agree and sorry for not wording my request..this web site is amazing and I did enjoy all your input.
TWQadmin
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Aug 8, 2007, 5:04 PM
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Re: [rlw19728] Using parents unity candle
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No apology necessary. Glad to share (force) my insight. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Using parents unity candle
We have tried to explain it but she will not listen..PLEASE HELP. 
bagpipes make my sister think about a fireman's funeral we attended...not a good thought on your wedding day. 
