Please advise as to whether or not it is proper to hold both a bridal shower AND a wedding shag. The definition of the wedding shag or social is a combination of the stag and shower; therefore, would guests find it upsetting to be asked to come to both?
The other troubling part in all this is the fact that as the mother of the bride, I was honouring my daughter's wishes by hosting a shag for her and then her father's girlfriend decided to put on a big wedding shower, with 30 or more guests invited, other than me, of course! I'm hurt, troubled, and confused, thinking that perhaps I should just cancel the shag. Please help.
Thank you.
Mother of the Bride
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 28, 2007, 10:49 AM
Post #2 of 2
(642 views)
Re: [Bertha7] Wedding Social or Shag (Fund-raising event)
[In reply to]
Dear Mother of the Bride,
The wedding social or fund raiser is a custom in a small region, but isn't proper. It is just one of those things that has been done for so long in an area that it seems proper. So, I can't nor can any other etiquette professional comment on how to make it seem appropriate.
A shower or any other gift related event should not be hosted by family because family will try to garner as many gifts as possible for their own, as is proven by the girlfriend. We never invite more than 35 guests. When we do it appears as a gift grab and greedy.
No guest should be invited to more than one gift related event. This would seem as if the couple is only interested in receiving as many gifts as possible just because they decided to marry.
And, why does a couple deserve for others to give multiple gifts to them just because they decide to marry? Interesting concept. This is what many are asking themselves these days.
Wedding Social or Shag (Fund-raising event)
