I need advice on whether I should ask my brother inlaw to walk me down the aisle or my dad. My sister and I are ten years apart so, since I was 7, my brother inlaw has been sort of like my big brother and father. From when they first got married at the age of 21, we all lived under the same roof w/my mom until I went to college at 18. My dad was around when I was little, but then moved out of the country when I was in high school, so I would only see him 1x a year. He would take me shopping for clothes when I was younger, and as I got older we would meet for dinner, but he would always give me a day's notice as to when he was in town. My boyfriend and I did visit him last year and spent the week with him which is the first time I've ever stayed with my dad. I love him, but I also feel that this honor should go to my brother inlaw since he's always been there for me, bought me my first computer during college, and has been a positive influence on my religously. My sister does have an older daughter that will probably get married in a few years, so I don't want to steal her thunder, but my niece and I are very close, so I don't think she would be offended. I also feel that I will hurt my dad's feelings if I don't ask him. How can I involve both of them? Can I have both walk me down the aisle or perhaps my dad starts it off and hands me to my brother inlaw and then to my future husband? Can you please offer some advice?
Thank you!
randysgirl
Dec 13, 2004, 4:42 PM
Post #2 of 5
(1102 views)
Re: [lorettajo] Who will walk me down the aisle?
[In reply to]
I am no expert when it comes to etiquette, but here's what I think. There is no right or wrong person to walk you down the aisle. It is entirely up to you. You could even have your mom do it, if that's what you want. If you are torn between your dad and brother-in-law, I would have your dad walk you into the church sanctuary, kind of symbolic of "bringing you into the world". Then he would give you to your brother-in-law who would walk you down the aisle to your future husband. And if your ceremony includes some form of the question "who gives this woman to be wed?" Your brother-in-law could say "her family and I do". that way he isn't really "giving you away" the way a father would. he is representing the family in presenting you to your new husband. hope this helps and good luck!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 13, 2004, 5:14 PM
Post #3 of 5
(1098 views)
Re: [lorettajo] Who will walk me down the aisle?
[In reply to]
Dear Who,
Yea, Randy's Girl. That is very good advice and 'etiquettely' correct. Anyone can walk you down the aisle, and no one can actually 'give you away'. We women do that for ourselves these days. So, you could follow Randy's excellent advice or even have all of your guests say "we do" to "who supports this woman."
A little note here... you already know what you want to do. Allow yourself to do what is right for you. It is fine to do so.
Jill
Psychotherapist: Second Weddings & Stepfamilies
Dec 14, 2004, 8:21 AM
Post #4 of 5
(1084 views)
Re: [lorettajo] Who will walk me down the aisle?
[In reply to]
I think it is a splendid idea of yours to include both your father and your dear brother-in-law on your special day. No one could be offended by this. Jill Curtis Psychotherapist, Author How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) London, UK http://www.familyonwards.com
sparkle_smarts
Dec 14, 2004, 9:32 AM
Post #5 of 5
(1076 views)
Re: [lorettajo] Who will walk me down the aisle?
[In reply to]
I too have been faced with this, but there is no one else to do it but my Brother-in-law. My father passed away from an illness. I beleive in your case, it's whoever makes you feel like you made the right descion.
Who will walk me down the aisle?
