I found a website offering a honeymoon registry. We have lived together for the last year and we have virtually all of the typical wedding gift items. Therefore, we thought the Honeymoon Registry would be a great idea. The only concern I have is that it's basically asking for cash, only in a more indirect way. Will this upset people, or do you think that most would be happy to contribute to the honeymoon?
On another note, over half of our guests are co-workers and friends. This may seem a little odd, but we both have relatively small families, but both want a large wedding. As a result, friends outweigh family. I would doubt that anyone in my family would be upset by this, but what about those friends and co-workers?
Any advice would be appreciated. Thank You!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 28, 2006, 9:27 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Aug 27, 2004, 10:36 AM
Post #2 of 8
(3775 views)
Re: [43kevin79] Will People Be Offended???
[In reply to]
I believe it would be accepted by guests the same way a typical wedding registry is accepted. Just be sure not to mention this registry on any invitations. Speak the word through family and friends and, if you have a personal wedding website, add the registry there. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
mannersmith
Manners & Etiquette Expert
Aug 27, 2004, 5:09 PM
Post #3 of 8
(3770 views)
Re: [43kevin79] Will People Be Offended???
[In reply to]
Dear Kevin,
Honeymoon registries are perfectly acceptable. They are not asking for cash because you do not tell guests you where you are registered unless they specifically ask. You do not list registry information on invitations but if you have a website you could post the refistry there. If and when guests do ask what type of gift you would like, you light up and let them know you have registered for your honeymoon! Let your family members know since they may very well be asked if you're registered and it is perfectly acceptable for them to tell your guests the registry information.
Be advised, you will still receive toasters, vases, candlesticks and other items. Registries are merely suggestions.
All the best, Jodi R R Smith
43kevin79
Aug 30, 2004, 7:25 AM
Post #4 of 8
(3750 views)
Re: [mannersmith] Will People Be Offended???
[In reply to]
Thank you both very much for your help. I really appreciate it; however, it does prompt another question. The Honeymoon.com provides me with postcards or wedding invitation inserts that I can print off onto card stock and either mail them separately as a postcard or insert them into the wedding invitations.
According to your reply and that of TWQAdmin, are you saying we shouldn't do this? I had always thought that you included a Wedding Registry Insert into your Wedding Invitations, similar to a baby shower. When we had our baby shower several months ago, we included a card advising of where we were registered. Granted, we only got two items that were actually on the registry, but nonetheless we still included it.
The only difficulty I have with advising of our Wedding Page is twofold. First, I know for certain there are several people being invited that do not have, nor have access to, a computer (a bunch of farmers in my family). The Registry card would give them the 800 number, so they would have that alternative available. Secondly, even though I consider my friends to be good friends, I would have to admit that I doubt that any of them really care enough to go out and view our website. Not to sound cynical, but over the course of my short years I have come to notice that most people really just don't care that much (when someone asks you how you are doing, they're not really wanting an answer).
Is there any other way to notify people of the registry other than those you have already mentioned and still remain within the guidelines of proper etiquette???
Thank you again for your help, and sorry for the lengthy response :)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Aug 30, 2004, 7:57 AM
Post #5 of 8
(3744 views)
Re: [43kevin79] Will People Be Offended???
[In reply to]
Kevin:
Inserting a gift regisrty card or mentioning where you are registerd is not considered mannerly since it suggests that you EXPECT a gift. Invitions are not a plea for gifts.
The wedding website is mainly meant to answer any questions a guest might have such as where the reception is being held, directions to the church, etc, so listing your gift registry is a good idea since those that want to get a gift idea and have access to a computer can get this information. It's also a nice place to add pictures and personal information for those who may not have met the bride and groom. Please see:
Those that do not have access to a computer can be told of the registry by word of mouth. Spread the word through your family and, if asked, they should let the guest know where you are registered. Give the preprinted cards to your family members and they can hand them out when asked. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
purple
Deleted
Aug 30, 2004, 9:37 AM
Post #6 of 8
(3742 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Will People Be Offended???
[In reply to]
I totally agree about the registry cards being inserted into invitations. I am annoyed when I get them--for wedding showers, bridal showers, or any event--because it's coming on too strong. If people want to give you gifts and want to know what things you'd like, they'll ask.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 30, 2004, 11:03 AM
Post #7 of 8
(3737 views)
Re: [43kevin79] Will People Be Offended???
[In reply to]
Here, here Wedding Queen and Purple.
Those inserts are simply a way for a company to sell more of their items. Unfortunately, because we are given them we think that we have to use them. Please don't.
Re: [43kevin79] Will People Be Offended???
[In reply to]
While I am sure that "Honeymoon.com" has your best interest at heart (and is not motivated at all by the almighty dollar), weddings are different than showers. The purpose of a shower is to "shower" the guest of honor with gifts. Which is why an immediate family member is not allowed to host a shower. Weddings are a different type of event. The purpose is to publically declare your love and undying devotion to each other. Guests, so moved by the romantic display, give gifts as a token of their well wishes.
Wedding invitations are not invoices and there is no polite way to demand gifts or money from guests. The only way to appropriately share this information is to verbal tell guests, IF and WHEN, they specifically ask what you would like.
Will People Be Offended???
