I think mine is a unique situation, at least I haven't seen anything in what I've read here exactly about it, so here goes:
My fiance found out he is being deployed to Iraq in January and we've decided to be married on Dec. 7th. It is essentially an elopement but some family will attend and have already been informed by speaking directly with them. Currently he and I live with my father and for the short time he will be with me before he is deployed, that is where we will stay, we will get our own place upon his return. And upon his safe return we plan on having an actual wedding ceremony with the guests, dress, cake and such (although no reception, since we are more private and want to keep it simple).
That's the situation, so now I need information as far as: invitations/announcements, when do i register for gifts (or do i at all?), etc. Please help.
Actually, we have very many posts almost exactly like this one. It is especially common with so many in the war now--very sad. You may want to read the other posts.
But, the truth of it is that once you are married, you are married. It doesn't matter that it is an elopement, it is a wedding. So, to get married again would be in poor taste and isn't polite. The guests typically do not view this positively no matter the circumstances.
Because this is so common, we have an article about proper vow renewal etiquette for you to read. I encourage you to read what is considered proper so you and yours will not be embarrassed.
You could register for gifts now since you are marrying soon. But, you couldn't inform others of the registries unless they ask. Some may wish to give you two gifts whether or not you are hosting a wedding for guests. So, please register.
A shower is for the wedding, not the renewal. Plus, only those invited to the wedding may be invited to the shower. So, this wouldn't be proper.
You may announce your wedding after you two wed. Please don't include any registry information. If anyone wants to give you a wedding gift, they will contact you. Many probably will.
I agree with Rebecca, once you are married, no matter where or when the ceremony takes place, you're still married. However, if you are of religious background perhaps, when your hubby safely returns, you could have a blessing of your marriage in your place of worship with a grand party to follow. Of course, since you will already be married at this time, some of the traditional stuff might seem silly like the bachelorette party or your dad "giving you away". Just use your best instincts to choose the right aspects for your special event. Usually if something makes sense, then, it's a good thing. If you're wonder about how to implement something or how to word it then there's probably a reason - it doesn't make sense.
Thank you for your sacrifice for our country and for the scarifice of your fiance. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 22, 2006, 1:34 PM)
a unique situation
