A close friend of mine got engaged in August and is planning a December wedding in 2008. She has everything already planned and booked, including a hall for the shower and stag and Doe. Recently another close friend of mine just got engaged and is now planning a November wedding also in 2008. Both of them have the same group of girlfriends and my girlfriend with the December wedding is concerned that this will turn into a competition and that the other friend with the wedding before hers will be trying to show her up. I recently spent some time with the November Bride and afterwards got told that the December Bride was getting upset that I had mentioned stuff about her wedding. Both brides are having their showers, and stag and does at the same hall and I mentioned to the November bride that the december bride had to already book the hall for her stag and doe as the hall was booking quickly. I had also only mentioned that the december bride has picked her bridesmaid dresses in burgandy (the novemebr bride is having blue dresses, therefore felt it was ok to mention the color, I didn't discuss style).
Speaking with the November bride was in no way meant to upset the December bride, nor was it meant to start a competition. I feel like I need to walk around eggshells speaking with both of them in case I slip and mention something about each others weddings.
I feel like I want to tell each of the girls that I don't want to know anymore wedding details from the both of them, even though I am in both wedding parties!
What is the best way to handle this situation?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Oct 9, 2007, 1:37 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Oct 9, 2007, 4:42 PM
Post #2 of 2
(434 views)
Re: [xhilerated] bridesmaid in 2 weddings next year
[In reply to]
Dear Xhilerated,
Perhaps you could just not mention their weddings in front of either of them, including that you would rather they don't ask.
Since you are close to both of them, it would be helpful to inform them that they are not supposed to be involved in the planning or hosting of their bridal showers or stag and doe. These are optional parties that are not supposed to be hosted by them, especially a shower. This is like saying that they expect an additional gift from their guests.
This is also way too early to be planning a shower. One shouldn't be hosted any earlier than two months before the wedding. And, these should be small, intimate affairs, so they don't appear to be a gift grab.
bridesmaid in 2 weddings next year
