I am not having children at my wedding reception. I do not want small children at the ceremony, but I don't want any child under the age of about 10 or 12 at the reception because of alcohol and dancing (I just believe this should be an adult only reception). With that said.. the church is not far from the reception site, and I thought of having two or three people from the place I use to work (a 5star child care center) to come in and work as sitters at the church in one of the class rooms, that way parents could leave the ceremony, drop the kids off (they will have games, movies, pizza, ect) and they come to the reception and then when they leave, go pick up the children.. So, on my rsvp I would have a space for number of children that will attend the complimentary child care during the time of the ceremony and/or the reception. Is this too much, should I just let people get their own baby sitter at their own house? But, some of the older children I don't mind being at the ceremony (my nephews..ect) but they shouldn't be at the reception.. so this on-site child care I thought was a good idea.. 2 or 3 people will only set me back about$300 which is worth it to me.. what should I do?
This is something you would want to put on a separate insert to be sent only to those with families. I can tell you from experience that many will not want to separate from their children and they'll end up there anyway. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
It would be better to list this information on an enclosure. You could list a phone number on it so your guests may make reservations for their children.
This is a good idea because so many parents would bring their children to the wedding and reception whether they are invited or not. There are quite a few people who do not care about proper etiquette.
You may run into a problem inviting children to the wedding and not the reception. Once you invite, guests feel that the children are invited to the entire event. So, it may be best to state that there will be a care-giver on site for those who do not have child care. 'Please contact....for reservations.' This way you are not inviting.
Good points, but, if you're allowing the children at the ceremony then aren't you really inviting them? We would never invite a guest to the ceremony and not to the reception. While a nice gesture, you can only suggest the babysitter. I don't see how, as Nancy suggested, you can force people to use your babysitting service. Some may decline, others may say they don't feel comfortable leaving their child with a stranger and others might think that their child is so well behaved that who wouldn't want the child to attend? These are usually the children who are the worst behaved!
If you really don't want kids at the wedding then you should probably just leave them out. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Ok, but I want like my 4 and 6 yr old nephews and children that know that "uncle tommy and aunt jamie" are getting married to be at the wedding, b/c they would be hurt not to come..and I don't care if children come to the ceremony, but the reception is going to have alcohol, dancing, and is an adult envrionment. I know that I can put that child care will be offered for those that cannot find a babysitter for the reception time, due to its adult only event. That way, if they don't want to leave their children with the on-site sitters..then they can just leave them at home.. I guess.
When planning any sort of event, and considering etiquette, always consider the comfort of your guests. Your idea might offend these parents as well as the parents of the children you don't invite. When you invite guests to your ceremony, it is considered impolite to exclude them from the reception, no matter the age or what you consider to be an inappropriate venue for them. Parents can be very sensitive about their children.
You can write anything you want on the insert, but, that doesn't mean that the parents will abide by your wishes. It is unfortunate that that we hear of this happening very often where children are not invited but the parents show up with the kids in tow anyway. You won't be able to properly turn them away or insist they not enter the reception area - unless, of course, you don't mind miffed relatives. Remember, you can do whatever you think is best, but, you're asking about what is perceived as being socially acceptable. You're also getting the benefit of experts who have either planned weddings for years or have received hundreds of letters complaining about such instances. We've seen and heard it (almost) all! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
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edited by TWQadmin on Nov 5, 2006, 8:53 PM)
child care
