I have never been to (let alone host) a couple's shower.
The maid of honor has asked the 4 guys in the wedding party to "take care of" the liquor/beer/wine/soft drinks at the event. The shower is scheduled 3 months before the wedding.
I don't know what is a reasonable response to this question, as she told me that the guest list (for the shower) is 160 people, many of whom are moderate to heavy drinkers. I don't want to put a damper on their celebration, but I also feel taken advantage of by being asked to pitch in to pay for (what I feel is) another reception...
2 questions:
a.) Do men usually participate in these events?
and b.) What is reasonable to contribute/help out with here?
Help please!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Dec 28, 2006, 7:35 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 28, 2006, 4:43 PM
Post #2 of 3
(689 views)
Re: [shestheboss] couple's shower - what is reasonable?
[In reply to]
Dear Shestheboss,
I agree that this is more of a reception and very inappropriate. There is nothing redeeming about it. And, no, she may not inform you of what you and the others will contribute. Men often contribute for couple's showers, but must agree to do so.
Re: [shestheboss] couple's shower - what is reasonable?
[In reply to]
Showers are optional. Participation, the level of participation and expenses of putting one together is to be dicussed in advance by all the willing participants, not dictated. Therefore, you should let the MOH know how you feel and that either 1) you are going to help but you would appreciate her discussing with you what you can reasonable do, or, 2) that you won't be able to assist her with this shower. Whichever you choose, just be sure to speak with her as soon as reasonably possible.
Generally, showers, when provided, are planned primarily by the Matron/Maid of Honor. More and more, men are starting to participate in them when it is termed a 'couple's shower'.
Showers take place about a month or less prior to the wedding. Three months is a bit too early to hold one.
As to what is reasonable to contribute to this shower, that really depends on you, as well as what the other participants agree is reasonable. Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
couple's shower - what is reasonable?
