My mother has asked me to include my male cousin in my wedding party, however I disagree. I feel that I choose my bridesmaids and my fiance chooses the groomsmen. If I had a brother then he would be included as a groomsman but I don't and I don't feel my cousin should not be included. Mind you, he is not reliable and I barely see him. However my mother feels that it would be a great insult to not include him and has even expressed indifference to the rest of the wedding planning and might not even attend if this is not done. My fiance is firm in that he does not want him included as his groomsman...help! What is the etiquette on this matter and what should I do?
You are right, you make the choice of who will be in your bridal party. The cousin could be given a job as usher or program attendant, etc. and may possibly appease your mother also. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Thanks Nancy for the advice. I offered to have him do a reading at my ceremony but my mother doesn't accept it. Unfortunately she wants him specifically in the party.
Ms. Tucker is exactly correct. It is your choice who to include no matter what anyone else says.
You know, there is another choice that may appease her. I know that your cousin is not your first choice for a bridal party member. But, do you have all of the bridesmaids that you want? He could stand on your side.