ex-stepfather and my grandfather to walk me down the aisle but what do I do with my biological father
My mom and biological father never married. I was raised by my mom and grandparents until I was six and my mom got married. I met my biological father when I was 8 and have remained in touch. My step-father (now ex-stepfather) has been there most of my life but I am really close with my grandfather. I want my ex-stepfather and my grandfather to walk me down the aisle but what do I do with my biological father and his wife? Did I mention my mom still has a bitter resentment for him and figures she should walk me down the aisle by herself, pay for everything by herself and do all the dances (which I'm considering cutting out) because she is "both my mother and father". Please help. I'm about to forget the whole thing and run away.
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edited by TWQadmin on Jun 8, 2008, 12:02 PM)
TWQadmin
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May 19, 2004, 5:36 PM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [stressedout] How to make it work???
[In reply to]
Well, eloping DOES have its perks but before you consider THAT option ask yourself what YOU want. Who do you want to walk you down the aisle? If you really want your grandfather and stepfather to have this honor then choose them. Mention your biolgical father in your program and/or include the entire family in a candle lighting ceremony during the service. Choose the person(s) that mean the most to you; that were there for you as a father figure for you as you grew up.
Now, addressing your mom's feelings...this is a tough one. I would have a really serious talk with your mom at a relaxed moment (if you can find one)! Tell her your true feelings about all of the parties involved and tell her how you came to make your choice. Since your step father WAS there raising you with her she really didn't raise you alone and, as far as I can tell by the little you've explained here, she was not both mother and father to you as you were growing up. Of course, you will not say this to mom! Include your mom in as many of the traditional "mom" roles as you possibly can, i.e. shopping for dresses, selecting ha;;s, etc.
Try to arrange, as much as possible, for your mother and biological father to be as seperate as possible during the ceremony and reception. Enlist the help of family members and friends to watch over them and be sure they are kept apart. Obviously, seat them away from each other in the church and in the reception venue.
During the entire planning process be sure to take time with your fiance to talk and de-stress. This should be a special day for the two of you, not a war zone. Be happy!
ex-stepfather and my grandfather to walk me down the aisle but what do I do with my biological father
