how to properly announce unmarried biological parents and their spouses
A family member is getting married in a few months and he and his fiancee are having difficulty pleasing everybody regarding the introductions of the parents at the reception. The groom's biological parents were never married and haven't spoken to each other since before the groom was born (30 years ago). The groom was raised by his biological mother and her husband since he was a toddler. He had no substantial contact or visitation with his biological father until he was in his mid-twenties and the biological father never paid any child support. He acknowledges his mother's husband as his father and refers to him as dad. His biological father is also married and he and his wife will be attending the wedding. The wife of the biological father insists on being acknowledged as a "parent" even though the first time she met the groom he was already an adult. The relationship between the groom and the biological father still is not very close. The bride and groom have decided to introduce all sets of parents like this " the parents of the bride mr and mrs ... and the parents of the groom mr and mrs... and the parents of the groom mr. and mrs. ..." This way nobody gets singled out as the mother or father. This has offended the biological mother of the groom since she feels that she and her husband are not being properly acknowledged as the people who actually raised the groom. She feels that the biological father and his wife should not be introduced at all and if they must be introduced either only the biological father should be introduced or they should be introduced as father of the groom and his wife. I was wondering if anyone had any other suggestions in how to go about introducing the parents that would not offend either set but also properly acknowledge the role each one played in the upbringing of the groom. Thanks.
mannersmith
Manners & Etiquette Expert
Aug 4, 2004, 9:54 AM
Post #2 of 3
(936 views)
Re: [pettlilly] how to properly announce unmarried biological parents and their spouses
[In reply to]
There are three options here: 1 - not introduce the biological father and wife at all 2 - while getting ready for the introductions, have the MC have some of the "honored guests" in the room rise to be recognized and have grandparents, and the biological father and/or wife introduced. ("Father of the groom and his lovely wife....") 3 - have all parents introduced ("Mother and Father of the Bride...., Mother and Step Father of the Groom...., Father and Step Mother of the Groom....) Good luck, Jodi R R Smith
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 4, 2004, 10:34 AM
Post #3 of 3
(931 views)
Re: [pettlilly] how to properly announce unmarried biological parents and their spouses
[In reply to]
Dear How to Address,
Because you have stated that your relative and fiance are having difficulty pleasing everyone regarding the introductions... let's focus on that. They really don't have to please everyone. Basically, the only ones who should be introduced are the people who raised him. So, if he wants to have only his mother and step-father introduced, he should. Of course, as mentioned, he has other choices too. It is entirely the couple's choice.
how to properly announce unmarried biological parents and their spouses
