Hello, I really hope that you can post an answer to this question because my fiancee are facing a nightmare regarding this situation. My fiancee took a job that will not allow us to get a marriage license before the fall wedding (in the time frame allowed). Our priest told us to get married before the wedding and not tell anybody or cancel the wedding because you can't get married without a marriage license. So we decided to get married. My fiancee was very upset about not telling his parents, so we told them the day of the nuptials. They appeared okay with it, but now they are saying we need to come clean with all of the guests, or cancel the wedding. The wedding is scheduled for October, and a bridal shower has been planned for August. It was against my better judgment to tell them for this very reason, but we're afraid people will use this as an excuse not to come to the wedding, or that they will find it unnecessary to attend because we are married. We didn't celebrate, and my parents weren't there. And it just felt empty. Are we doing the wrong thing by not telling people (because does it really matter?) or should we come clean? Also, if we don't come clean should we cancel the bridal shower? His mom says it's the honorable thing to do, but we had to do this to have the wedding!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 6, 2007, 3:28 PM)
I'm sorry, but your parents are correct. You are married and to pretend to marry in front of others isn't polite. The wedding and shower are gift giving events, unless the shower is gift-less. So, it very well could appear as if you want to cash in on the gifts you missed by eloping.
Whatever the reason you had to marry doesn't really matter at this point. The point is that you are married.
You could host a vow renewal, but that may appear just as negative hosting it so close to your wedding. So, a reception would be better. This is very appropriate and can be hosted any time within the first year of marriage. It is just best to omit some of the elements that may seem a bit silly for a couple who has been married for a while.
We have very many posts on this subject. You might want to read through them.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] marriage license woes
[In reply to]
Thanks for your advice. I've talked with a few close friends about it and we're going forward with the wedding. I didn't have any representatives there to celebrate with and it's not about the gifts. We both want to be married in the church with my family present. They all live out of state (many siblings living in different states). My fiancee and I paying for the entire wedding and we can't get any of our money back. We won't do a shower, but we are doing the wedding. But thanks!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 6, 2007, 3:28 PM)
Another married woman just looking for validation. As soon as you don't hear what you want to hear you try deleting your post. Listen to your mother. She sounds wise.
As for your priest - wow - a priest who suggests lying? What can be said about that? Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 6, 2007, 3:37 PM)
Please remember that your friends most likely will not say exactly what they are thinking. They will most likely be sharing what they think with others. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
marriage license woes
