my live in boyfirends son not invited to the wedding
HI, I will start here I have recently moved in with my boyfriend of two years and we have blended our family together. I have two children and he has one son. All kids are living together with us 95% of the time.
My sister is getting married in three months. Me and my two children are in the wedding party. I have RSVP'd as a family; my boyfriend, me, my two children (10 and 17) and his son (10).
The bride has decided that my kids can come to the wedding but my live in boyfriend's child cannot. I have not yet told my boyfriend his kid is not allowed to come because I think he will be extremely hurt. (note his son is an excellent child with NO behavior issues).
Is this proper etiquette or should the entire family be invited not excluding one child? (Note the only children being invited are the nieces and nephews) I want to be able to tell the bride the proper etiquette or bite the bullet and tell my guy his kid is a no go. I know it is her wedding and am not trying to tell her what she has to do. I am so confused and this is totally stressing me out and I am very hurt. PLEASE HELP!
IF you need additional information please let me know, I did not want to make this too long. Thanks
(This post was
edited by maidofhonor713 on Jul 30, 2008, 11:54 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 4
(975 views)
Re: my live in boyfirends son not invited to the wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Maidofhonor,
If we are going by one of the most well respected etiquette books out there, then this is technically correct, as in one person's view, the host can invite the children of family and exclude all others. But, this is the best example of why this "rule" doesn't work well. When we invite some children and exclude others, it causes hurt feelings. And, this isn't what following proper etiquette should be all about. Plus, it isn't a clean rule. Where does the host cut the list of children invited?? So, it just doesn't work well.
In my opinion, and many others feel the same, it isn't polite to invite some children and not others. In your situation, it isn't polite to invite your children and not the third in the family. This is not to say that your sister broke a serious etiquette rule. But, it isn't polite or considerate.
You may want to speak to your sister about this. Perhaps ask her how she thinks her guests with children will feel when they see other's children at her wedding when theirs were not invited. And please remind her that all wedding guests are invited to the entire reception. This includes children.
(This post was
edited by Etiquette Now on Jul 30, 2008, 2:13 PM)
maidofhonor713
Post #3 of 4
(971 views)
Re: my live in boyfirends son not invited to the wedding
[In reply to]
OH and one last thing the Wedding is in her home town and I live in another state. Not sure if this also makes a difference in anything. So I would also need to make arrangements for my "step son" to be baby sat for the weekend. UGH this whole thing has gotten way out of control.
Probably does not change the response but I wanted to throw that in there.
Thanks again.
(This post was
edited by maidofhonor713 on Jul 30, 2008, 12:56 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #4 of 4
(965 views)
Re: my live in boyfirends son not invited to the wedding
[In reply to]
Technically it doesn't. But, it just isn't done by polite people. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
my live in boyfirends son not invited to the wedding
(note his son is an excellent child with NO behavior issues). 
