out of town bridesmaid's brother's wedding plus her guest--when to invite and who pays?
My younger brother is getting married and he and his fiance asked me a long time ago to be a bridesmaid. When they asked me I was just a few months away from moving to NYC from Ohio. I have never been in a wedding before, so I asked them if I would be able to bring a date, even though at the time I was not involved with anyone. They said that would be fine, as most of the rest of the attendants are bringing significant others. Now that I'm in NYC, I have met someone. We are still in the early stages of the relationship (only about a month), but things are going extremely well, much better than I would have ever suspected. The wedding is at the beginning of August which is only a little over 3 months away. I want to invite my new "boyfriend" but I'm afraid it will be "too much too soon" if I ask him in April. I'm also concerned with waiting too long as flight prices go up the longer you wait to purchase them. If the wedding is within the 1st week of August, when is the latest I should ask him so as (1) not to freak him out, (2) give him ample time to get the time off of work, and (3) to make sure the prices of flights aren't through the roof. Am I expected to pay for his half of hotel and flight? I'm assuming I do in which case I'm also concerned with asking him too soon and after purchasing his plane ticket, airlines require you to place names on each ticket for security reasons and tickets are usually non refundable. I don't know what I would do if I went through all that effort and then things fell apart with my date because I spoke too hastily. I'm just trying to cover all the "in case" scenarios.
I've also read the bride/groom pay for out of town members of the bridal party? If they do, what are they expected to pay for? I'm not sure this is the case, I'm pretty sure I have to pay my own way as a bridesmaid, both flight and hotel. How can I find out without sounding cheap? I know it's my brother, but it's still an awkward conversation to have.
I know this is a lot of questions, but I'm pretty confused as to all the "what ifs". Thanks a million in advance!!!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 1, 2008, 3:22 PM
Post #2 of 2
(307 views)
Re: [bailadora79] out of town bridesmaid's brother's wedding plus her guest--when to invite and who pays?
[In reply to]
Dear Bailadora,
It may make him freak out, but it is best to ask him as soon as possible so he can work this into his schedule. Since you are asking him, then you would be responsible for his travel costs. If things don't work out, perhaps you can change the name on the ticket.
The couple is responsible for at least two days of your lodging. I would suggest asking them as directly and politely as possible.
out of town bridesmaid's brother's wedding plus her guest--when to invite and who pays?
