My nephew had a private beach wedding a year ago - I sent a cash gift. I am now invited (a year later) to their formal wedding ceremony and reception. How do I handle gift giving- do I still give another card? Do I give a smaller gift?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 26, 2009, 8:46 AM)
If your nephew was married last year, then he's already married and cannot be married again, and he shouldn't be expecting any gifts. In fact, if you weren't invited to the wedding ceremony you were not obligated to send a gift then, though I'm sure you wanted to congratulate him and acknowledge his marriage. So, even though none of what he's doing now is appropriate, there is no need for you to give another gift. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
We are seeing more and more of these pretend weddings these days, which is disheartening since they are basically silly and self indulgent--very impolite to their guests. Trying to track down any misguided etiquette experts who might be fueling this fire recently, I found none. But, I think I have finally found the match that started this huge, ugly fire--besides the self-proclaimed celebrities hosting multiple weddings for themselves. I have found that non-expert moderated chat rooms seem to be the base of operations when it comes to questionable behavior. One person throws the question out there (do you think I could have a big wedding since mine was so small?), another says go for it, and then we have an avalanche of pretend weddings under the guise of "the big wedding".
Once a person is married, they are. They aren't bride and groom; they are husband and wife. No amount of high five, slap on the back, do it if it feels good comments, makes it a wedding.
So sorry for the long explanation (and rant). I do completely agree with our Wedding Queen. They are married. You were more than gracious enough with a wedding gift. Their anniversary party is not a gift giving event, even if they are pretending to marry during it. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Already gave a wedding gift
