I was married last Friday and was wondering if it is expected for guests and family to give gifts these days? We had 32 friends and family attend of whom only 1/3 brought a gift. My husband has two brothers in their late twenties, of whom neither even gave us a card.
We are taken aback at this as we have heard a bunch of excuses from our friends such as "your gift is in the mail", or "we forgot to bring it to the reception". We didn't expect expensive gifts, but we did think that our guests would bring something they could afford as we have never attended a wedding and not bought the bride and groom a present. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Regards Tanya
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Dec 17, 2006, 11:31 AM
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Re: [miss-kalinka] Are guests expected to give gifts these days?
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Dear Tanya -
Unless this was a second wedding for either of you, it is customary to send a gift to the home of the bride before the wedding, however, your guests did not. So, I'm wondering what you hope to accomplish by having this information. There could be all sorts of reasons that you did not receive a gift including:
1. Guests may still be sending.
2. Gift might have been brought to the reception and it was misplaced or stolen.
3. Guest could not afford to buy a gift...
The reasons could be endless, but, again, what will you do with the information? You won't confront them since that would be in poor taste and you wouldn't want to address bad etiquette with bad etiquette.
You know, I am always in awe of the number of people who do not know proper etiquette. Each time I go to a restaurant and hear another diner blowing their nose at the table it reminds me that either these people don't know, or don't care, that their behavior is upsetting (or in this case, disgusting!) to others. But, like you, there is nothing for me to do about it but to hope that I can ignore their improper behavior and enjoy myself.
My advice is to savor the wonderful memories of your day. After all, the reason for hosting a wedding is so that your loved ones can witness the two of you exchanging your vows and celebrate with you afterwards.
Have a wonderful married life. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Are guests expected to give gifts these days?
it reminds me that either these people don't know, or don't care, that their behavior is upsetting (or in this case, disgusting!) to others. But, like you, there is nothing for me to do about it but to hope that I can ignore their improper behavior and enjoy myself. 