Awkward to accept a gift from parents' friend/family friend
We feel very blessed and honored by the outpouring of generosity and gifts received. However, one gift has put us in an awkward position. We have just received a gift card to a chain of stores we are politically and ethically opposed to for our own personal reasons. We do not shop at or support in any economic manner this particular chain of stores, and communicate this sentiment at every given opportunity. To make matters more delicate, it was received from my mother's friend of 35 years whom I have known my entire life. What should we do??
We do not want to be rude or inconsiderate, but we also feel very strongly about the harm and detriment this store has done to our economy and it's employees. If we say nothing and simply send a "thank you" card for her generosity, we feel like we'd be lying by omission about how we feel since we would not use the card ourselves. We also feel uncomfortable about giving the card to someone else to use since we do not want to perpetuate the store's economic growth in the US. We considered returning the card to her since she must shop there, so as not to waste the expense (it was a considerable amount of money), however, that brings us back to the not-wanting-to-be-rude part again.
We just cannot see a gracious way out of this without compromising our ethics. Please offer some specific verbiage on how to broach the subject with her or if we should bring it up at all. Also, time is of the essence because if we should say something, we both feel it should be done in person. We are in town for only a few days. Please help us.
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Post #2 of 3
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Re: [jbernardine] Awkward to accept a gift from parents' friend/family friend
[In reply to]
Simply send a gracious note thanking your guest for sharing your day (place the emphasis there, where it really should be anyway) and for their generous gift and then throw the card away (note that the store has already received the money and you cannot return a gift card for cash so, personally, I would give the card to a charity I am in sync with in order to balance this out, but, that's your call). This would not be a lie since I assume you did enjoy sharing your day with these people and any gift should be considered generous since they aren't really obligated to spend any amount of money.
Think about it in a more personal way. Suppose you purchased a gift you felt was appropriate and the recipient told you that they were offended by the gift for whatever reason - any reason really. You, of course, selected the gift thinking it would be perfect for this couple, right? Receiving this message would be embarrassing to you. A polite host would never impose his/her convictions on a guest or purposely embarrass them.
I tell my kids all the time that there could be a a few times in life we must tell a little lie in order to keep from hurting feelings. (Think - "Do I look fat in these jeans?" senario) This is surely one of those times. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
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Post #3 of 3
(732 views)
Re: [jbernardine] Awkward to accept a gift from parents' friend/family friend
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more. We should be grateful for all gifts received.
I like the idea of giving it to our favorite charity. That does balance it out a bit. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Awkward to accept a gift from parents' friend/family friend
