I went to a wedding in July. No one has received a Thank You as yet. It was supposedly a very classy wedding, but in the end it was a fiasco. Of the 300 guests ours was the only envelope missing. I was haunted by this family till I wrote another check. BUT, did I have to give them another check if they lost the first one. What if it had been cash? Then what? I am really upset about this especially since they could not even write a simple thank you? Am I wrong? They had a wedding box for all the cards. But, I am suspicious about my envelope being the only one missing. I am not the favorite Aunt. Please help me. Thanks
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Post #2 of 5
(552 views)
Re: Do I have to replace a gift they lost?
[In reply to]
Thanks for helping to point out why we send the wedding gift to the home of the bride before the wedding.
There are so many problems with the way this was handled and I'm sorry they behaved so poorly. I'm sure this has caused you some embarrassment. First, even though we are expected to send a gift when attending a wedding, the couple isn't OWED a gift. There is no "price of admission", so even if you attended and didn't send a gift they never should have asked you where your gift went. But, if you gave a check and it wasn't cashed, it would certainly be your place to call the couple to let them know and then work it out from there.
Now, on to what to do with this specific scenario. You did give a check, so you had the intention to give a gift. Then why not replace the check? Lost envelopes happen in these circumstances, and loosing it was an accident, so put a stop payment on the old check and send a new one. Ignore the fact that they're being rude by asking. No need to "see their rude and raise 'em one"! Making a ruckus won't make you more of a favorite! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Momakins
Post #3 of 5
(547 views)
Re: Do I have to replace a gift they lost?
[In reply to]
We had every intention of replacing it, but we could not afford the $40.00 stop payment charge. I just asked them if we could wait to see if the check cleared or not. Thanks for answering this question.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Post #4 of 5
(542 views)
Re: Do I have to replace a gift they lost?
[In reply to]
That's fair to ask of the couple. They really should be grateful to receive any gift, and waiting would be the kind thing to do in this case. If you're really tight on funds, like many are these days, back out the $40 fee and resend a check in the new amount. Then you'll only be pending what you could initially afford. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #5 of 5
(537 views)
Re: Do I have to replace a gift they lost?
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more with all of this great advice. Plus...card box??! That is right up there with "Wishing Wells". We just don't do this any more.
Hopefully others will read this and realize why this is distasteful on many levels. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Do I have to replace a gift they lost?
