Hi! I couldn't find this particular question anywhere, so forgive me if it's a repeat. I was invited to the wedding of a friend I once dated many years ago, and the best man is an ex I dated for 6 years, also quite a few years ago. All three of us are on pretty friendly terms now, though we only sporadically keep in touch. Since dating either of them, I met and married my husband. When I was invited to this wedding, it was clear that only I was invited--my husband was not. This could have been for monetary reasons (the wedding will be very expensive), or I alone could have been invited just for the sake of the long history I share with the groom, but in my opinion that still breaks etiquette rules--either I shouldn't be invited at all, or both me and my spouse should be invited, right? I am not comfortable enough with the groom to ask *why* my husband wasn't invited, but in declining the invitation, I told him I couldn't attend his wedding out of respect to my husband and what his feelings might be to know I was attending the wedding of an ex. That's the history, so here's my question: What kind of gift, if any, should I give? The wedding couple will be moving across the country a month after the wedding, so I was thinking something small definitely, but should I even get a gift for someone who didn't include my husband in the invitation? Thanks for your help!
It was rude to invite only half of a couple, period.
The etiquette behind wedding gifts is beginnig to loosen. Peggy Post says you should send a gift to the home of the bride before the wedding if you've received an invitation. However, if you are a casual acquaintance, a business associate or if you're someone the couple has had no contact with in years, you can forego the gift.
From the little you've told us, I'd say these people aren't good friends and I'd send a card to congratulate them. Of course, if they invited you only to get a gift, or to fill a seat, plan on never hearing from them again since they're bound to be insulted (and not rightly so). They are obviously not well versed in etiquette/manners. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Gift-Giving to Ex
