I am getting married in September this year. At most of the weddings I have attended, almost all of the gifts are brought to the reception, and I have reason to believe my reception will be no different.
My mother, my groom's mother, and some of my extended family are adamant that we must have a gift-opening event the day after the wedding. The mothers have said they will even plan it for us. I have never been comfortable with the idea, I would rather take all the presents home and open them with my husband in private with a glass of wine.
When I expressed these feelings, the extended fam came up with a sort of 'compromise.' My groom and I open the gifts in the morning in the company of our immediate family, then put them on display in the afternoon, during a sort of hors doevres party "because people just really want to see what we received."
Now, I've read on this forum about how gift openings can embarrass some people and cause competition. Would this eliminate the problem? Or would it still be inappropriate? If it is not inappropriate, what would I call the event? An after-wedding tea?
It is not my first choice, but to appease the family, could it work?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
/ Moderator
Feb 7, 2008, 8:12 PM
Post #2 of 4
(484 views)
Re: [thatashleychick] Gift Opening Event (but not really)
[In reply to]
Dear Thatashleychick,
This is just so the beginning of the last century. It is really frowned upon in most circles and viewed as a party to compare what one side of the family gave versus another. No one should know what anyone gave except the couple. And then the couple shouldn't share that information. So, I can't really give advice on this, except to say no. You two are the hosts of your wedding. You two make the decisions based on what is best for you and your guests.
Re: [thatashleychick] Gift Opening Event (but not really)
[In reply to]
Yes, and, gifts are really supposed to be sent to the home of the bride before the wedding, not brought to the wedding, and the bride and groom open and send a thank you note so the sender knows the gift was received. Many do not know that this is the right thing to do, but, it is. And, it makes sense, not just because of your issue, but, also because many times gifts are lost, stolen or separated from their cards.
The two of you are adults now, and should be able to make your own decisions about your wedding, and the gifts. Thank your parents for their suggestions and offer of the party. Then politely decline leaving no room for argument. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
thatashleychick
Feb 8, 2008, 9:05 AM
Post #4 of 4
(473 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Gift Opening Event (but not really)
[In reply to]
Gift Opening Event (but not really)
