I'm part of an Italian family in New York, and every wedding I've been to there has had a registry for the bridal shower for things like appliances, bed sheets, and other household items, and the bride and groom get cards and money at the reception.
However, I'm getting married in Kentucky now, and my maid of honor is telling me that I'm supposed to get lingerie and sex toys for my bridal shower and household items at the reception. I'd simply tell her that this is not how I want it done, but I've been to two weddings since I've moved to Kentucky and halfway through both receptions, it feels like a birthday party where the bride and groom sit and unwrap their gifts!
I absolutely do NOT want that!
The only probblem is how do we tell guests not to expect us to open gifts in the middle of our reception? They'll consider us very rude if we don't! I'd really rather not get gifts at the reception since we're leaving straight from there to the honeymoon, and have noplace to put the gifts! I was always planning on having a wishing well sitting next to us for the receiving line and letting guests drop cards and money into it, but would it be considered rude to explain this tradition to our guests? And how and where do I explain it? The invitations have already been sent out.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 30, 2006, 3:42 PM
Post #2 of 2
(1734 views)
Re: [pookabee] Gifts at the reception? Help!!
[In reply to]
Dear Gift vs Money,
Most of us consider wishing wells and expecting money at the wedding, less than positive. Yes, some traditions are slower than others to change. But, this one is changing very quickly. So, no wishing wells--tacky.
Opening gifts during the reception is a new one to me. This is not proper. Perhaps this is a small local custom. But, I doubt that it is something that most people do in Kansas.
As for the bridal shower, there are different types of showers. Not all are lingerie and sex toys, nor is it all big ticket items. Most are less expensive gifts off of the couple's registry.
You can tell your MOH that you do not want a personal shower such as that. You want a generic shower where guests give you items from your registry. Or, you don't have to accept a shower. These are optional parties.
As for opening gifts during a reception, this is not something I would feel comfortable doing and really feel as if this is a local custom. You do not have to participate in something such as this. It is not appropriate. If guests want this, they will be learning a new tradition that day. It is best to let everyone know through the grape vine that it is considered tacky to wedding open gifts during the reception.
Through this grape vine, you could also state that it is also considered proper to send gifts to the bride's home before the wedding. If guests bring gifts, which is the custom where I live (much to my dismay), have your MOH take these to your home.
Gifts are never mentioned on the wedding invitation anyway. So, you couldn't have mentioned anything about them.
Gifts at the reception? Help!!
