How to Inform People About Registry When Sending Announcements and Not Having Guests at Wedding
Hi! My fiance and I are in a VERY unique situation. He has just moved here from another country and I am a graduate student, so we NEED gifts to get our household started and actually WANT them! (not to sound greedy, but we're young, have never been married, and are still in school!) We are having a private ceremony with no one but the two of us (and the officiant of course). We plan to send out announcements in the US (where I am from) and in New Zealand (where he is from). The main reason we are not inviting anyone is simply because it was not possible for us to have his family come, so we opted to have no one come. Both of our parents want the announcements to be sent out and know that many of their friends and family will want to give gifts. I did opt for a small gift registry because my co-workers are throwing me a small shower. So, how do we send out announcements AND let people know where we are registered? I have read other forum postings and they say that the parents should "spread the word" about where they are registered. How should they do this? It seems logical to me to mail the little registry cards with the announcements, but, apparently that's not proper, right? Thanks!
(This post was
edited by CGrace on May 2, 2008, 10:08 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 2, 2008, 10:24 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [CGrace] How to Inform People About Registry When Sending Announcements and Not Having Guests at Wedding
[In reply to]
Dear CGrace,
Your situation is not so unique. There are many just like you. We have many posts very similar. And, the rules apply the same here.
You are having a private ceremony. Wedding gifts are only mandatory for those attending the ceremony. So, even if you were to take our a full page ad in a major newspaper, it is likely that you wouldn't receive many gifts. Most likely you will have to do what most of us do--save and purchase items as you can. It is what we do. It is difficult in the beginning, but it is possible.
But, on to the registry, how to alert others, and the little cards. You may register even if you are not hosting guests. The little cards are to make stores money. They are not proper, except for the traditional gift giving shower. But, you wouldn't be handing these out to those attending your work shower. These people typically give a group gift. It isn't supposed to be similar to the traditional bridal shower.
The announcement is not supposed to be a plea for gifts, nor should it appear to be. It is merely to announce your new status. We mail these to only those who really need to know that you are married, and they are not obligated to give you a gift. It would be insulting to expect them to. This is also why we don't mail these to our parent's friends unless they are also very good friends to us. They just may be thinking that the only reason they received an announcement is to fork up some cash for a gift. It's just not considerate or polite.
The only time we 'get-the-word-out' about our registry is when we are inviting guests to our wedding. If people ask you or your parents about your registry, you and they may inform them. If not, no one should be broadcasting your need for gifts.
How to Inform People About Registry When Sending Announcements and Not Having Guests at Wedding
