My husband and I drove 800 miles to attend his brother's wedding. We are expecting a baby soon so we had been saving for months for the tremendous expense involved. While at the reception, we filled out the card, inserted our cash gift and placed the envelope in the satin card box. The next day, the groom mentioned he did not receive a card from us. We asked him to double check and call the venue to see if it had turned up. We have since returned home. On our second day back in town, my husband's brother called him at work and demanded for him to "tell him the truth" as to whether or not we had actually given a gift. He suggested that we either lied about giving the gift or that one of the two of us had pocketed the card rather than putting it in the box. After my husband restated that we had indeed given a gift and we didn't appreciate the accusations, my brother in law stated that we should not expect anything for Christmas from them this year. I have discussed this matter with my family and friends over and over because I can't even believe this situation has occurred. I, being the one that put the card in the box personally, feel horrible and it has now caused a rift between my husband and his family. Is this normal behavior? I feel like the way he is handling this issue is completely immature, hurtful and inappropriate. While it is a known fact that we are by no means wealthy, we scrimped and saved so we could attend the wedding and provide a cash gift. Now I feel like his whole family thinks we are liars and it sickens me. Any comments or advice for how to proceed?
This is one of the more important reasons that gifts should never be brought to the wedding. Gifts should be sent to the home of the bride before the wedding to avoid these sort of mishaps. Plus, if you're giving cash (which I personally don't care for) then always send a check so you can stop payment if it's lost or stolen. So, the giver and the receiver are, in my opinion, both culpable to some extents. But, the groom asking about the gift crosses the etiquette line. The couple should never expect a gift or ask a guest about a gift.
It's a shame that all of you are fighting over a sum of money. I wish I had an answer for how to make this better. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 12, 2008, 2:23 PM)
I completely agree and, honestly, I feel this is a new low in out society. To me it appears that the wedding was about getting cash gifts--forget about the people.
Most people find the idea of a card box repulsive. It is like charging guests to attend. The wishing well is another form of this that is considered inappropriate as well. I realize that in some regions and cultures cash gifts at the reception are the norm. But, for the mainstream, it is not. And, this is a great example of why it isn't a great idea. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Lost cash wedding gift
