My son and daughter-in-law were married three months ago (2nd marriage for both) and had a very nice wedding. They have been very cool to my husband and I since the wedding and I just found out from my new DIL that they are upset about the amount of the monetary wedding gift that we gave them. It was not as much as her parents or my former husband gave so they feel that we slighted them. What we gave was a good sum and what was comfortable for us to give. Please note that I also gave my new DIL a very nice (and expensive) shower to welcome her into the family. I am shocked at them. They insist it isn't about the money or a competition between the parents, but it sure seems as if it is. These are thirty-somethings so they are not kids. Are we wrong? Should we have asked the other parents what they were giving and tried to give as much - although they are far wealthier than we?
I'm confused. You say your daughter-in-law told you she and your son were upset about the wedding gift, but then you say your son said it wasn't about the gift. If you feel like they've been different with you since the wedding, speak to your son about the reasons you feel that way.
The wedding should never be about the gifts, so if they are upset with you over a sum of money, then I say let them be upset. Gifts are given from the heart and mind. Give a gift that reflects your feelings for the couple while keeping your financial situation in mind. No one should have an expectation of any sort of gift, monetary or otherwise. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
You did absolutely nothing wrong. You didn't have to ask any one about the amount you "should" have given. In fact, you didn't need to give them any amount of cash just because they decided to marry. Your gift was completely optional and your choice. And for them to consider any amount as lacking is ungrateful and tacky. Honestly, they need a reality check. Perhaps turning on the television and watching the news would be a good start. There are a lot of people out there who would welcome any amount of extra cash. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Monetary Gift
