My daughter recently got married and she did not receive a gift from my best friend. I am very puzzled by this and now I am wondering if she did, perhaps, leave a gift or card on the gift table and someone took it. Should I say anything to her? I would hate for her to think my daughter had not thanked her for her gift, if there was one. In fact, there were several people at the wedding that I was sure would bring a gift, but they apparently did not. How do you handle a situation like this?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 23, 2006, 12:22 PM
Post #2 of 6
(1292 views)
Re: [mommy4585] No Gift from Best Friend
[In reply to]
Dear No Gifters,
This is another reason why everyone should ship the gift before the wedding. No one should be bringing the gift to the wedding or reception. But, many do not know this.
Many are gift fatigued these days because of so many people creating gift giving situations for themselves inappropriately. It is unfortunate that because of this, some who traditionally would have received a gift are not.
It wouldn't be polite to ask her or anyone else. Perhaps they just didn't want to give a gift or attended the shower and feel that one gift is fine. So many are feeling that this is proper these days. So, one option is to try to find out if she did give one through a simple conversation. Hopefully she will mention something about the gift and how she hopes your daughter likes it. Sometimes good detective work helps.
Plus, sometimes you can find out who bought what from the registries. This may help.
Having said all of this, as a mother you shouldn't be involved with counting the gifts. You really shouldn't have known who gave your daughter a gift. This is something for the couple to sort out. But, for the sake of writing a proper thank you note, it would be best to know.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] No Gift from Best Friend
[In reply to]
Thanks for your helpful reply. I was not aware that I wasn't supposed to know who gave what to the newlyweds. I am sorry if it seemed I was counting gifts. That was never my intention. I was simply concerned that these people (who are all close friends) may have given a gift and it had been misplaced, or whatever, since we did not have an attendant at the gift table. I have been keeping up with the list of gifts and addresses so my daughter could send her Thank You cards out. Since she is a full-time student and also works full-time, this has helped her immensely.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 23, 2006, 1:28 PM
Post #4 of 6
(1279 views)
Re: [mommy4585] No Gift from Best Friend
[In reply to]
So often, mothers can be... well, a bit pushy when it comes to gift giving for their children. I'm a mom, so I understand. It really is only human nature. We want the best for our children. So, it is best if we stay out of this.
However, this really doesn't seem the case here. You are trying to also fill the role of MOH by tending to the gifts in order for your daughter to be socially correct in writing thank you notes to all of those who gave gifts.
It is unfortunate that some do take things during these events. Hopefully this isn't the case. And hopefully, you can coax the gift giving information from your friends.
I'm sorry if I made you feel as if you did something wrong. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
mommy4585
Jun 23, 2006, 1:38 PM
Post #5 of 6
(1276 views)
Re: [Et.byRebecca] No Gift from Best Friend
[In reply to]
Thanks for putting my mind to ease. I really appreciate your helpful advice.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 23, 2006, 1:42 PM
Post #6 of 6
(1274 views)
Re: [mommy4585] No Gift from Best Friend
[In reply to]
It is definitely my pleasure. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
No Gift from Best Friend
